Friday, July 28, 2006

The Point Game: Moving Hiatus Edition

Ok folks here it is moving time…sort of. I’m going to be living on a couch for the next week before I move into my new place so expect little to no updates on the site. I’ll try to get a Runway Roundup done next week but that’s all I can promise unless you want rants on Uhaul, switching car insurance, or setting up TiVo.

In the meantime, let’s give out some points:

+0: Lance Bass gay? I am shocked how little I care. I guess good for him for coming out but if this really does lead to a rumored sitcom with Bass playing a gay guy living with fellow N*SYNCer Joey Fat-One then shoot me now.

+3: Beyonce’s new track with Jay Z. The song is called Déjà vu and it certainly feels like you’re listening to Crazy in Love version 2.0 but that’s ok. Ever since Jay “retired” it always feels like gold when he pops in on a track.

-3: Fergie’s London Bridges. I’m not a huge BEP fan but I don’t hate on them, especially Fergie. This is the song that could push me over the edge. This is one of those songs that’s fun to listen to real loud in a club or car but after spin #3 you’re realizing how utterly horrible it is. I dub it this year’s Hollaback Girl.

+1: J J Abrams. After being shat on by the Hollywood studios and press for the lackluster performance of Mission Impossible 3 our second favorite TV writer is coming home to the island. Not only is Abrams penning the season opener he’s also directing one of the first six episodes. I smell polar bear in our future.

-1: MTV. Is it just me or are their seasons getting as short as our attention spans? Just as they did with 8th & Ocean, The Hills is also getting the short season treatment. Furthermore, MTV never gives you any warning it’s just a casual comment in the preview for next week. Damn just when I was developing a feeling for Heidi other than loathing.

+2: Venture Brother’s Season 2. About a month ago I picked up season 1 of this Adult Swim staple and explained how it took a while but the show grew on me. Season 2 needs no time to grow it’s already in full bloom. The writing keeps getting smarter to the point where they might become two smart for their own good. So as I begin the final stage of my long drawn out move, here’s my favorite clip from the season 2 premiere. (Gotta love the tsk tsk tsk tsk.)

Thursday, July 27, 2006

Runway Roundup Week 3: Epiphanies


Angela and Kara
Originally uploaded by narrativeboy.
Epiphanies are often clichéd. I believe most of us think of that when we have an epiphany we’ve discovered so great new truth when in actuality we’re really just admitting to something we’ve known all along. In the span of 4 hours last night I had 5, count them 5 epiphanies on everything from Runway to my animal magnetism.

Epiphany #1: Angela is this season’s Kara.
Last year I could not understand how Kara Janx made it to the final four of Runway. It seemed like every week her garments lacked style and never conformed to the given theme. Kara also had a knack for dressing her models in garments similar to the one’s she wore everyday. I’ve got a feeling we should expect to see Angela in the final four because she’s following the same pattern right down to dressing her model in the tragic poofy skirt she tends to wear.

Epiphany #2: Runway doesn’t hit full speed until we get under 10 designers.
Did you know Bonnie was still on the show? You might have missed her if you blinked. Hell even Vincent disappeared into the background for most of last night’s show. I’ve read some people saying the show is boring this year but I got the same feeling last year at this time. There are just too many contestants to focus on and as such you get spread to thin trying to keep up. Give it a couple of weeks and everything will be gravy.

Epiphany #3: No matter how cool the design is, dogs still look horrible in clothes.
When I heard the challenge was about one of today’s top fashion accessories I’m thinking iPods, cell phones, maybe even cars but definitely not dog. Big props to Keith for fighting the power and going with the bare minimum on his pooch. (Although he probably shouldn’t have tried to pass off a necklace as his own design.)

Epiphany #4: I’m a shallow, shallow man and that might be okay.
So I’ve been making a concerted effort over the last few years to improve my appearance and how I feel about it. I’ve lost over 50lbs, gone through a wardrobe makeover and started using “products” for skin, hair, etc. While I’ve certainly started feeling good about myself I’ve continued to shoot low and settle when it comes to opposite sex. Take last Saturday night for example. I’m at a...well…I’m not exactly sure what it was so we’ll call it an afterbar, and who do I start making googly eyes at? That’s right the chubby girl with the cute face. While the alcohol was surely clouding my mind I’m pretty sure my train of thought was, “Hey she’s cute and not averting her eyes at the sight of me, I’ll bet I can talk to her because her standards might be as low as mine.” Shallow? You bet ya. Nothing came of the googly eyes as me and my friends were not long for the afterbar but when I woke up the next morning I realized two things; one, I’m an ass and two, if I think I’m looking pretty good these days then other people probably think that too. Of course epiphanies mean shit if you don’t have actions to back them up. Like all things if they aren’t reinforced, they tend to fade away. In fact if I hadn’t gone out for coffee last night this epiphany would probably not have made the list. As I sat drinking my latte the most amazing thing happened, I met an extremely attractive woman who was actually checking me out. Never mind that after having a conversation over coffee, I realized she was a complete idiot. The point was this was just the kind of reinforcement I needed to realize that I’ve got it going on! Oh yeah, it’s my birthday! Go El Dog it’s your birthday!

Epiphany #5: I’m not a very humble man. (see above)

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Clerks II, Me and Steve (SPOILERS BELOW)

After getting phone calls, emails, and in person questions, I finally saw Clerks II on Sunday. Apparently you all expected me to be there midnight on Thursday but alas I’m too damn responsible to skip out on my last week of work. Nevertheless, I made my way to the multiplex in my new-old home of Minneapolis on Sunday to catch the flick. Two days later, my head is still spinning.

I never thought that Clerks II would reach me the same way the original did. As I’ve written about before, Clerks made a huge impact on my life and spoke to me in a way that no film had done before. It gave me a career path as I changed my major to film and it was the first time I felt like my generation had a voice. Going into Clerks II my expectation was not to come across another life changing celluloid moment but rather a vulgar entertaining comedy. Instead I got a film where it seemed Kevin Smith had crawled inside my 32 year old head, cribbed notes from my life and as such created a piece of work that deeply affected me. Before I get too deep into the personal connection I felt, let me hit on the production of the flick itself.

Clerks II is funny as hell but not at the expense of the story. In Clerks, the plot or what there was of it, was secondary to the dialogue and jokes and here it’s the other way around. Sure there’s the trademark Smith dialogue but it’s all there to support and flow the story. There was also a lot of talk before the flick about it getting an NC-17 but I just don’t see it. Sure there’s some stuff people might find lewd and offensive and you shouldn’t take a 10 year old kid to it as someone did at my screening, but overall I’d say this was way tamer then expected. The pacing is tight and Smith once again self edits his way to success including a nice red herring in the beginning of the movie that’s a great wink to fans of the original.

Visually this is hands down one of Smith’s best efforts. The washed out color that permeates the flick goes hand in hand with the washed out lives the characters lead. Ratface, Smith’s longtime art designer, has topped himself again with Mooby’s. Let’s just say they’ll be plenty of freezing images when watching this on DVD to catch all the menu items and names.

I always think Smith gets the best out of actors (see Affleck, Ben) and Clerks II continues the trend. I’ve been indifferent to Rosario Dawson and even found her slightly annoying in Sin City but my god does she nail this role. I’ve always held that there are certain people who can deliver certain types of dialogue. Dawson instantly joins the group of people that are born to speak Smith’s words along with Jason Lee, Affleck, Jeff Anderson, and Jay Mewes.

Okay, so obviously I can recommend the film based on all of the above but again I truly fell for Clerks II because it hit me at the right place at the right time. The backbone of all of Smith’s films have been exploring relationships, particularly that of male heterosexual best friends. Watching the interaction between Randall and Dante really hit home for me. In fact, in the film, the two of them have two almost identical conversations that I’ve had with my best friend Steve in regards to my upcoming move. Like Dante in the movie, I’m preparing to leave Madison and my best friend in the next few days. (Unfortunately for me my life doesn’t totally imitate art as I don’t have 2 beautiful ladies fighting over me like Dante.) Like Dante and Randall, Steve and I have a friendship that’s extended into the work arena. I met Steve shortly after college at a home shopping channel and the 2 of us have been friends and collaborated on films and videos ever since. We have accomplished an admittedly tiny body of completed work but like Randall says in Clerks II, “I can’t think of anything better then spending time working at something I enjoy while hanging with my best friend.” That’s what I’ve been able to do for the last 9 years more or less. Now Steve and I are hanging up our movie making bootstraps for the most part. He’s found an amazing lady to settle down with and I’m heading towards Minneapolis to be closer to family and friends, and to try and construct a fuller life for myself. Watching Clerks II helped me understand why Steve feels a bit like I’m deserting him by moving and forced me to admit to myself (and Steve if he’s reading) that I have some desertion feelings of my own as he starts a life with his fiancée. To top it off I’ve been going through a bit of a career crisis of my own where as Steve has found a pretty sweet gig that he enjoys for the most part. Unlike the film we don’t have rich Jesus loving drug dealers that are going to step in at the last second and fix everything so instead we’re going to have to adapt as our lives change. Clerks II is always going to be a film I treasure as it will always remind me of the amazing friendship and period of time I spent with Steve these past ten years and hopefully it will be a checkpoint to look back on as our friendship grows and evolves.

Steve if you’re reading this I hope:
A) You heeded the spoiler warning and waited until you saw the movie

B) Know that I love you…in a completely heterosexual way

And

C) You don’t get me a donkey for a going away party.

Friday, July 21, 2006

Snootchie Bootchies It’s Friday

Just some odds and ends as we head into the weekend.

•Clerks II hits theaters today and I can’t wait. Of course due to some moving related travels I won’t be seeing it until Sunday or Monday and thus won’t have a review until sometime next week. In the meantime though, check out what happened when ABC’s Joel Siegel went to the critics screening by clicking here.

•Another new release that I’m salivating for comes Tuesday when the Awesome Snakes album comes out. I know you’re thinking this is another Snakes on a Plane reference but actually this is a new record from Danny and Annie from the Minneapolis punk band, The Soviettes. Apparently the two have had the Snakes on the side for a couple of years and now that The Soviettes are on an indefinite hiatus we’re getting our first Snakes album. It’s all bass and drums and based on the 4 tracks up on their MySpace page it sounds, well, awesome.

•I was excited as anyone about the Big Brother All Star Edition that debuted a couple weeks ago but for whatever reason the show is not clicking. Right now it’s become my favorite show to DVR because you only need to watch about 5 minutes of each episode to understand what’s happening. I love the BB6 cast but perhaps CBS made a mistake by allowing so many of them back in the house because they’re all too damn good. Every one of them except Howie had been HoH so far and I don’t see that changing anytime soon. In the meantime we’ll continue to be treated to the cast members from the other seasons bitching and moaning.

•You may have noticed a few changes to the blog recently. Thought it was time for a slight change in appearance but nothing drastic. As promised I’m also experimenting with videos and photos when I feel they’re appropriate. I have put up some advertising but don’t worry no pop ups. Gotta give props to both Blogger and Google for making advertising simple. I’m sure it won’t pull in much more then sofa change but thought I’d give it a try especially since I’ll be unemployed in T-minus 7 days. Plasma banks here I come!

Thursday, July 20, 2006

Runway Roundup Week 2


malanbreton
Originally uploaded by narrativeboy.
Last week I wrote about Malan Bretton being the villain on this year’s Project Runway, and in doing so really showed how easily TV can manipulate me. One week after Malan seemed like an arrogant elitist prick, he came across as a tortured soul just trying to make his way in the world. Even more shocking was the connection and camaraderie he shared with his fellow designers. Later the shock of shocks came when he took responsibility for his team during the judge’s questioning. This is why reality TV makes me feel so crappy for being entertained. After watching a guy that had about 20 minutes of screen time last week, I made a snap judgment on his character. Of course the manner in which the contestants are presented by the show is designed to provoke this response but that doesn’t make me feel any less shallow.

A couple of other notes:
 Vera Wang is a nice change from Michael Kors but what I’d love to see is Nina Garcia get a week or two off. Maybe it’s just me but she’s beginning to sound like a broken record.
 I wonder if anyone in New York has taken the opportunity to set up Runway themed tours of the city. For some reason every time I see them go to Mood, I instantly want to go myself even though it’s just a fabric store.
 Angela actually made me (and the judges) feel sorry for Vincent. She went from victim to victimizer in no time at all. Plus I kept expecting her to break into a ballet with that skirt she wore to the showing.
 What happened to Heidi’s appearance at the runway show? Was she trying to out do Miss USA’s makeup? She looked like a Berlin hooker from the neck up and had a weird sexy fascist uniform thing going on below.

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

Working the Reality Shift

I’m thinking about changing the name of the blog to Self Loathing Pop Culture Fanatic Who Happens to Be Moving. It seems like everything that I view, read, or listen to is tying itself back to my impending change of address and I’d like to apologize for that upfront and let you know that next month things will change…probably to Self Loathing Pop Culture Fanatic Trying to Get His New Life In Order.

With that said, the move and my lack of employment got me to thinking this weekend as I partook in viewing the World Series of Pop Culture on VH1. As I watched the World Series I found myself kicking…myself. Instead of grabbing an apartment in Minneapolis I should have spent the last few months auditioning for reality/game shows. You see, this move I’m making is the “free and clear” kind. I’m moving mostly for friends and family and while I will probably end up continuing in my current “career” path, I have no immediate responsibilities that tie me down in either my current city or my soon to be home. In other words if ever there was a time for me to try and grab my 2.5 minutes of reality TV fame this was it. Even though it’s a day late and a dollar short, I made a list of what shows I love and if I could make it on there.

Real World- Too old. In fact, one of the saddest things about turning 26 was that I had officially become too old to audition for the Real World.

Big Brother- Not pretty enough. Maybe if I work out hard enough I can be one of the buff 40 year olds that lasts a couple of weeks in my twilight years.

Survivor- While I love the show, I hate the outdoors and the whole thing reeks of effort.

Project Runway- Can’t sew.

My Super Sweet Sixteen- Not 16, not rich enough, and not a girl.

Being Bobby Brown- I’m not him.

Amazing Race- Here’s one I think I could do but the partner part would be an issue. The best storyline for the show would be if I brought my world traveling mom along but I’m guessing we’d be out after one week of me making her cry on national TV.

Now this World Series of Pop Culture thing is a little bit more up to my level. More game show than reality, this show has teams of 3 battling in nice compact 30 minute matches. (A quick note to the creators of the World Series itself; keep your host off camera. It reminds me of the National Spelling Bee in that you love to hear the pronouncing guy speak but once you see him the magic is broken) The questions range from “duh” to “doh”, but overall I pretty much held my own. Again though I need partners to compete on here, and you need to come up with a corny pop culture team name like “I <3 Jake Ryan” or “Almost Perfect Strangers”, so it’s not a perfect match. Still, I’m intrigued and more importantly, convinced that I wouldn’t make too much of an ass of myself if I actually made it to the show. So, with that in mind, I’m going to officially announce my entry into next year’s World Series of Pop Culture (assuming they have one). Think you got what it takes to join my team? Try these on for size and let me know how you did by leaving a comment on this post. No cheating by looking at Wikipedia.

Question 1: Where does the movie Jaws take place?
Question 2: Melrose Place was a spin off of Beverly Hills 90210. Which Melrose regular tied the two shows together?
Question 3: Name the “rap artist” that gave us Rico Suave.
Question 4: Name Britney Spears’ first husband.
Question 5: Name the fast food restaurant Buffy Summers worked at.

Backwards Answers: ecalap taemelbuod .5, rednaxela nosaj .4, odrareg .3, nosnah ekaj .2, dnalsi ytima .1

Monday, July 17, 2006

Who Needs A Desert Island When You Can Move

I’ve always enjoyed those lists about what 5 albums, books, or movies people would choose to have if stranded on a desert island. Of course the fundamental flaw in these lists is the fact that you’d never have a chance to actually pre-select these items as you don’t usually know when you’ll get stranded on said island. However, due to my impending move I think I’ve discovered a real world way of putting a variation of these lists into practice.

Being that about 95% of my blog readership is familiar with me outside of the e-world, most of you know me as an organizationally motivated person. This of course is a nice way of saying I’m borderline obsessive compulsive about making lists, updating lists, and completing lists. This has translated to my moving, and eventually led me to being pretty much all packed up 3 weeks ahead of time.

When it came to VHS tapes, books, and music my choices were pretty easy. My VCR had just broken so the tapes could be packed away, perhaps never to see the light of day again. Books were easy since I had two I’m reading right now that should easily last until my move is done. Thanks to the iPod, CDs/albums weren’t a concern and were also packed up. DVDs though were another story altogether.

I watch a lot of TV but let’s face it, sometimes there is nothing on and you like to have backup. While my DVD collection is not huge, it’s certainly competent of filling in the occasional 2 or 3 hour vacuum in my entertainment life. The obsessive packer in me wanted to pack them all up but my better judgment won out and I kept a few “desert island” DVDs.

First, I grabbed all 7 seasons of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Buffy is one of my top 3 shows of all time and had been on mind of late. I figured I might not watch all 7 seasons but there is at least 1 episode on each disc that would be fun to watch. It’s one week later and I’ve been crushing pretty heavy on the show and am already up to season 6. What started out as one episode a disc has turned into watching at least parts of every episode. There are so many moments and lines from this show that are a part of my consciousness, and yet I always find new stuff too. For example, one line that worked its way into my day to day speak had been “A world of no,” from the musical. It has grown stale for me so imagine how excited I was to discover its sister saying “A zillion gallons of no,” in a later episode. This is the kind of stuff that always keeps Buffy fresh to me. You would think that a complete 7 seasons of a show would be enough to last me 3 weeks but I anticipated that once I started Buffy I’d become totally engrossed, so I grabbed a couple of backups.

The second DVD I grabbed was the 10th anniversary edition of Clerks aka Clerks X. Since we’ve got Clerks II, my #1 most anticipated flick of the summer, coming out on Friday I figured why not take a viewing of the original. Clerks is not my favorite Kevin Smith film but it holds a special place in my heart. It was one of the movies that inspired me to write and work in the film industry. It was also the first film I felt truly spoke to my generation. This edition of the DVD is also one of the finest sets I’ve ever seen. In addition to the 2 versions of the flick and the multiple commentaries, there’s a stellar documentary that runs about 90 minutes. All of K Smith’s movies have had top notch DVDs but this one is the bomb, yo.

Lastly I figured I needed another multiple season set so I went with the natural progression from Buffy which of course would be the 5 seasons of Angel. A highly underrated show if ever there was one, Angel lacks the consistent quality of Buffy but exceeds it in some individual episodes. We’ll see how much I dig into it after I’m done with Buffy but I figure I’ll at least make it through the Buffy crossovers and the fantastic final season.

So that left me with 13 DVD sets which is certainly an odd number (and also a prime number). If I had to rank them I think I’d go:

1. Buffy Season 3- I think Faith and the mayor put this slightly ahead of season 2 with Spike, Dru, and Angelus..
2. Buffy Season 2- A narrow miss from the one spot thanks to some forgettable early season eps.
3. Clerks X- One of the best parts of this edition is the animated version of the missing scene at the funeral home that was deemed too expensive to shoot originally.
4. Angel Season 5- So many reasons to love this season. Spike, Andrew, Fred/Illyria, and of course, what I consider to be, the best last episode of a show ever.
5. Angel Season 2- The Darla factor and the move into the hotel gave the show its own identity separate from Buffy. The two part finale in the alternate universe sounded horrible on paper but really stands out as a high point for the show in terms of execution.
6. Buffy Season 5- I’ve never been a Dawn hater and Glory was my favorite big bad next to the Mayor.
7. Buffy Season 6- Two of my favorite episodes from the show with the musical and it’s follow up Tabula Rosa, along with one of the most disturbing scenes ever when Spike attempts to rape Buffy, make this season memorable for more then it’s soul crushing depression.
8. Angel Season 3- Up until the arrival of the Connor man child, this season was humming along. The ballet episode is one of the best the show ever did.
9. Buffy Season 7- The ending felt a bit rushed and surprisingly it seemed like Eliza Dukshu (Faith) was phoning in her performance. Still, the writers did a nice job of giving all the characters some form of closure.
10. Angel Season 4- The whole Cordy/Connor thing was ick, but the return of Angelus and a great season finale with the wolf, the ram and the heart tend to make me like this season more and more.
11. Buffy Season 4- The Initiative and Adam never floated my boat but the standout eps of Hush and Restless truly showed how Joss Whedon was growing as both writer and director.
12. Angel Season 1- I know Doyle’s exit was planned but I still find it more annoying then emotionally jarring. I still don’t think Joss knew exactly what this show was going be then.
13. Buffy Season 1- Glimpses of perfection but overall very uneven. The Master was great but when I watch this season now I really just got more of a nostalgia vibe then anything.

So there you have it, the 13 DVD sets I’d leave out when moving or if you prefer, take to a desert island. Of course if I knew I was going to a desert island, I think I’d load up on food, drink and living supplies but that’s a list for another day.

Thursday, July 13, 2006

Runway Roundup


bonnie
Originally uploaded by narrativeboy.
Project Runway season 3 debuted last night so I’m compelled to offer some quick comments.

Did you notice we were only 45 seconds into the new season before one of the designers mentioned that old Hollywood is their inspiration? I’m so tired of hearing that but it was especially noteworthy since it came from Malan.

Malan will clearly be this year’s person you hate, not love to hate, just hate. Plus if you caught the Road to Runway special he had some of the weakest designs of the finalists.

I’m a sucker for cute reality contestants so I’m already pulling for Alison and Bonnie.

Big props to the network for bringing Michael to New York. When I saw his “street smart” designs on the preview show I thought there would be no way they’d bring him along but kudos to the producers for bringing in a diverse group of designers.

Besides the two cuties I think I’ll be pulling for the Barbie designer. His audition video was the hi-larious.

As for the first person out, all I can say is thank god. As a fashion idiot I tune in to see people who actually know what they’re doing and that includes running a sewing machine. Seems like they’ve now trimmed the fat and the rest of the designers should make for an interesting soup.

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

Superman to the (i)Max

I’ve fallen behind on my Top 10 Can’t Miss Movies of Summer list so yesterday I tried to catch up by seeing #2 Superman Returns. Since I could still catch a late matinee I decided to go to Madison’s new IMAX Theater. The IMAX technology had previously been limited to amusement parks and museums but in the last few years more and more multiplexes are building IMAX screens to try and lure in a bigger audience. While I was excited that one had opened in my town the first films they were showing I’d either already seen or had no interest in so this was really my first opportunity. As an added bonus Superman has four scenes that utilize the new IMAX 3D technology.

Before I get to the 3D let me talk about the movie. Much like Batman Begins, Superman Returns is a perfect relaunch for one of the biggest movie franchises. It exceeded my expectations and left me wanting more…much more. The film overall is not quite at the level of the best comic movies from the last ten years which include Batman Begins, X Men 2, and Spiderman 2. However it easily falls into the second tier of good films like X Men, Spiderman, Blade 2, and Hellboy. Brian Singer hits all the right notes in the first hour of the film. He certainly knows how to handle the Man of Steel and shoots him in such an iconic way. Kate Bosworth really surprised me as Lois Lane and Kevin Spacey is Kevin Spacey. The problem with the film is villain’s plot. You never really feel like it’s something that; a) Makes sense, or b) Would really threaten Superman. That’s a problem Superman faces more then any other hero. Since he’s pretty much invulnerable you need an equally strong villain to work against him. I think that’s why Superman 2 worked best in terms of action and adventure. Like I said this is a solid starting point and maybe next time we can see Luthor team up with Brainiac or Darksied to give Supes a real run for his money.

Now, on to the technology side of the experience, which made an equally large impression on me. I’d been to IMAX theaters before as a kid and remembered them as being not quite as impressive as the OMNI theaters where the screen actually curves around you. That impression held true when I walked in the theater. Yes the screen was incredibly large but it did not seem to be much bigger than the Ultrascreen located at another local theater. After I walked in, the generic teenager from The Simpsons handed me my 3D glasses. These aren’t your Super Bowl halftime show 3D glasses. They look like tacky sunglasses complete with the little rope cord to keep them around your neck. As I took my seat a calming voice came over the speakers and told us that if we attempted to leave the theater with the glasses, an alarm would sound and the glasses would send an electrical shock to our brains that may or may not cause severe brain damage. Then we were “treated” to a delightful introduction to the theater by our local news team. They carefully instructed us to look for the flashing signs that indicated when to put on our glasses. Since only 4 scenes in Superman Returns are in 3D, you spend most of the time with your glasses on your lap being careful to avoid smudging them since your local weatherman just threatened you with castration if you do. Then the most amazing thing happened: no commercials appeared on the screen (well except the news people). Apparently the I in IMAX stands for integrity. I was still catching my breath when we rolled into the one and only preview which was for some kind of Pixar-like Ant movie. The whole preview was in 3D so I put my glasses on and whoa! It’s like I was in the shit back in ‘Nam as we followed the ants through the tall grass. Seriously I was utterly blown away. The theater dropped away and you felt like you were in the film. Then Superman started. Just like that no “let’s got the lobby ads” or anything. The 3D experience for Superman was not as effective as the preview but it was still impressive. I don’t know if it made the film better but it definitely made the experience better, at least until I suffered seizures when I ran to the bathroom with the glasses still on my person.

Monday, July 10, 2006

I’ve Got A Bandage on My Jaw

Remember in the old school Tom and Jerry cartoons when one of the characters would be so surprised that their jaw literally would hit the floor? That was me…twice this week.

First off one of my best friends emailed me that they were pregnant. This was news that came completely out of left field and the surprise left me more zoned out then usual at work. Occasionally I had to feel my face to make sure my mouth was shut.

The second shock of the week came during yesterday’s World Cup final. In the overtime period the French captain Zinedine Zidane committed one of the biggest errors in the history of sports. Zidane cost himself, his team and his country on the world’s biggest stage.



I’ve watched the video over and over again and I still can’t believe it. This would be the equivalent of Michael Jordan punching Byron Russell in the NBA Finals instead of hitting the series winning shot. It will forever be linked to Zidane and this year's Cup. I thought I’d write a whole column about how shocking this was but I figured the best thing to do is just to show it.

Friday, July 07, 2006

Be Careful What You Wish For

I’m a professional wrestling fan. I know it sounds like an AA speech and in some ways it’s a fair comparison. Even though I like to think of myself as a pseudo intellectual and can discuss everything from Locke on Lost to Locke the philosopher, deep down I’d be just as happy to discuss the Monday Night Wars from the late 90s when WCW and WWE went toe to toe in the ratings. This is not a column about my ill advised fascination with watching a bunch of muscle bound, scantily clad men grapple with each other while involved with storylines that would make Days of our Lives look normal, no this is a column about fandom.

Back in the wrestling boom of the 90s there was WWE (which most of us grew up on), WCW (which was owned by Ted Turner and featured many past WWE stars) and a little promotion based out of Philly called ECW. ECW or Extreme Championship Wrestling carved itself a nice place on the map by featuring some of the most violent matches a US audience had ever seen while also featuring some of the best technical wrestlers around. At a time when the other two companies spent more time developing characters, ECW made a commitment to in ring action. They were the first semi national promotion to feature the Mexican lucha libre style and they also introduced new types of matches such as the three way dance.

Now like I said ECW did not have the bankroll of WWE or WCW so their exposure was limited but being the wrestling nut I was, I soon devoured as much ECW as I could find. One thing that caught my eye instantly was the passion by both the wrestlers and the fans. ECW was based out of a bingo hall in South Philly that only held a couple thousand fans but each night there was a big fight atmosphere. Also they were no little kids in the crowd so the presentation and wrestling seemed aimed more at an adult audience. The end result was a very knowledgeable fan base that wouldn’t tolerate crap in their ring and wasn’t afraid to share their feelings with the wrestlers.

Unfortunately being a small fish in a pond full of multi million dollar corporations finally caught up to ECW in 2001 and after years of talent raids, failed national TV deals, and mismanagement ECW folded. However, even after it went out of business ECW still maintained a rabid fan base. ECW chants were still heard when a match in WWE got particularly “extreme” or when you’d see old sparks from one of the many ECW alumni such as the Dudley Brothers, Mick Foley, Chris Jericho, Chris Benoit, and Rob Van Dam. When the face of ECW, creative genius Paul Heyman eventually went to work for WWE and Vince McMahon, you felt like ECW would always live on in thanks to the impact it made on the wrestling scene. In 2004, WWE paid tribute by releasing a 2 disc DVD set on the history of ECW that featured some of the all time great matches as well as some honest revelations from all involved in the phenomenon that was ECW. It became the best selling wrestling DVD of all time and to this day is the best wrestling DVD I’ve ever seen.

The tremendous response to the DVD opened the WWE’s eyes to the cash cow staring them in the face. In 2005 WWE announced it was bringing back ECW for one night only on pay per view. WWE went out and signed a few ECW former stars as well as the alumni already on their roster and turned control of the show over to Paul Heyman. The ECW fans, myself included, were all abuzz. Would this be a true representation of ECW that would allow us to salute the wrestlers and give a proper goodbye to the organization we loved or would it be a bastardized WWE version that tarnished our memories? In the end it was 3 hours of entertainment that stayed true to ECW for the most part and featured some moments that brought tears to this old softie. The buy rates on the pay per view were huge and you knew that with the prospect of cashing in further WWE might try this again.

Sure enough, in 2006 WWE did just that when they announced a second ECW pay per view. I was a little less excited this time mainly because I wasn’t sure how they’d top the previous one. Sure there were some dream matches out there but for the most part the 2005 show had given us ECW fans closure. Of course as the show got closer I threw rational thought out the window and began to get excited. A yearly tribute show could only last so long as many ECW alumni were getting a bit long in the tooth so I figured I should shut up and enjoy the ride. Little did I know the ride was about to take an unexpected turn.

About a month before the June 2006 show I was on one of the pro wrestling web sites I frequent and came across a shocking headline: ECW to come back fulltime. I’ve got to say my initial reaction was shock and that quickly lead to excitement. WWE was going to launch ECW as a third brand to compliment their existing shows. Initial reports were that Paul Heyman would be the creative guy in charge and that while different from the old ECW, the new version would honor the tradition. Obviously this meant ECW would be on a bigger stage and in my naïve mind I thought this was the greatest news ever.

The June 2006 pay per view was to be the launching pad for the new ECW. Once again I plunked down my $34.95 and sat in front of the old boob tube. The show was not as good as the previous one, watching the crowd at the Hammerstein Ballroom in New York was almost worth the price. While I sat in my living room in America’s heartland I watched people who shared the same passion for ECW cheer and boo like no other audience in pro wrestling. By the time the evening was over I was super jazzed for the premiere of the new ECW on the Sci-Fi network.

A month has now passed and I am a broken fan. The new ECW is not even a bastardized version; it is a separate beast altogether that just happens to have the same initials. The loyal fan in me wanted to believe but the rational part knew this would happen. Vince McMahon loves him some him and his ego would not allow Heyman or any of the ECW alumni to truly shine in a ring or show that he’s footing the bill for. As a wrestling fan I’ll still probably check on it once in a while but the whole experience has left me disappointed not only in the product but also in myself for allowing my love for ECW get the better of me. When we lose a show or product that is dear to us, we often wish for it to come back but the truth is, it will never be the same and that is the toughest part of being a fan.

Thursday, July 06, 2006

And the nominees are...

The best part of the Emmys is today because the nominations are out and for one brief moment you have hope that your show will beat out the Fraisers and LA Laws and shine in the Emmy spotlight.  Last year it actually happened when Lost and Arrested Development took home the top prizes but it couldn’t happen again could it? So let’s look at some of the high and low lights of this year’s crop.
 
Nomination Most Likely To Piss Off Tom Cruise: South Park for Outstanding Animated Program- Not only did South Park get nominated but it’s for the episode Trapped in the Closet which is heavy on the Cruise douche baggery.
 
Least Deserving Nomination: Flight 93/Outstanding Made for Television Movie- How bad must a 911 movie be if you actually start laughing at it?  This could be the worst nomination since the Harlem Globetrotters got one for Scooby Doo.
 
Biggest Non Nomination: Lost/Outstanding Drama Series- This is the Academy’s way of saying, “If you don’t start answering some questions about that fucking island you can kiss your future Emmys goodbye.”
 
The “Which One of These Things is Not Like The Other” Nomination: TIE Charlie Sheen/Outstanding Lead Actor Comedy and Two and a Half Men/Outstanding Comedy Series- Really Academy? Sheen? If you look at the stellar candidates that complete the rest of these categories, Sheen and his show stick out like VD infected thumbs.

Most Deserving Nomination: Scrubs/Outstanding Comedy Series- It took becoming a midseason replacement for this show to finally get the credit it deserves but kudos to the Academy for recognizing a show that is in it’s creative prime. However I'll be cheering for Arrested to go 2 for 2 and further embarrass FOX for cancelling it.

Monday, July 03, 2006

My Self Indulgent Cry for Pity

Ever had a weekend where listening to Morrissey is the least depressing thing you do? This past weekend was filled with let downs and soul sucking sadness for me.

It all started with the World Cup. Am I the only one who’s a bit upset at an all European final four? So much for the beautiful game. Watching Brazil go down to France was akin to watching the Red Sox beat the Yankees; it just shouldn’t happen. Seriously, it looked like France had an extra 3 men on the pitch the whole match. (Note novice soccer fan making use of real soccer terms.) Meanwhile, the only other team I could really get behind was the English who suffered yet another humiliating penalty kick loss that will rank up there with the 432 other penalty kick losses they’ve choked away over the years. So now we’re left with a who’s who of the WWII axis powers in Germany, Italy, Vichy France, and well…ok I guess I don’t know what Portugal did in WWII but I’m sure it wasn’t good.

With my World Cup depression in full swing I joined up with some friends to partake in the largest fireworks display in the Midwest, Madison’s Rhythm and Booms. Every year this event occurs I am shocked to hear it’s the largest in the Midwest. You would think Minneapolis, Milwaukee or Chicago would host a bigger display but for whatever reason Madison claims the prize. One of my friends mentioned the fact that Madison is filled with a bunch of hicks who have nothing better to do then to drink beer and watch the sky to which I replied, “I resemble that remark.” Anyway, the five of us drove down to join 299,995 of our closest friends for the evenings activities. Rhythm and Booms bares some resemblance to a county fair. There are 80’s cover bands, beer tents, carnival rides that look completely unsafe, and a cornucopia of greasy food and strangely greasy drinks too. Just being around this kind of food is enough to drive me to depression. On one hand you know how good it will taste but on the other hand you literally feel your arteries harden just by looking at it. I decided to head straight into the heart of the beast and get an order of beer battered French fries with cheese sauce. To my horror they were out of cheese sauce so I was left with an order of cheese curds that just weren’t State Fair quality. As I contemplated which kind of giant milkshake to get the evening took another turn for the worse when we noticed people packing up their blankets. Some hullabaloo about a tornado in blah blah blah county was apparently enough to cancel the fireworks.

Now you’d think that was the low point of my Saturday but then you’d be leaving out the joy of dealing with post non-fireworks traffic. It was one of those situations where you had to laugh or otherwise you might hyperventilate and have a panic attack like one of my friends did in my backseat. Sitting on some non descript city street for 90 minutes opens you up to such thoughts as how many giant TV screens does one need in a Buick Skylark, and what was that grey fried thing mixed in with my cheese curds? Needless to say I had high hopes for a more upbeat Sunday.

Unfortunately my own judgment failed me on Sunday. I woke up at a reasonable hour and decided to watch a flick. Did I choose something light hearted like Wedding Crashers? Of course not; no instead I stuck in The Squid and the Whale which has been sitting in its Netflix sleeve getting dusty for almost a month. I thought this was an incredible film but good god the character’s are so messed up that I physically had to turn away from the screen a couple of times. Jeff Daniels particularly shines as the egotistical patriarchal ass of the family.

After watching the Whale, I continued my mostly down roller coaster by breaking my VCR, and locking myself out of my apartment. Finally some light was shined when I partook in a couple of mean games of Baggo (aka the bean bag toss game). After that my depression returned full swing watching Michele Wie just miss yet another major LPGA victory. I’m not a Wie basher but I wish she would win just so she could shut those folks up. Still it is amazing to watch a 16 year old compete on this level. Anyway after watching the LPGA which is in itself mildly depressing, I decided to follow up Squid and the Whale with yet another upper, Syriana. Usually when people tell me a movie is really confusing and hard to follow I get all smug and condescending and laugh them off because that’s the kind of ass I can be when it comes to film. Yet here in Syriana, I found a film that actually lived up to the confusing hype. Mostly I had a hard time keeping all the lawyers and Texas oilmen straight but that certainly did not distract from the film. Again it was a fine film but it also aided in continuing my self imposed depression trend. I knew this wouldn’t be an up with people type of movie but I also wasn’t quite prepared for a movie that left me with a message of: Give up, all hope is lost.

Like I said 95% of this depression was self imposed like tearing up during Andre Agassi’s Wimbledon departure. Still it was a weekend so it’s not like it was all tears and cursing just remember never schedule a triple feature of Squid and the Whale, Schindler’s List, and Syriana because you might not make it through the day.