Quick Movie Review: Bolt

When Disney and Pixar appeared that they were breaking up a few years back, Bolt was born. The fear of losing top-notch digital animation led Disney to develop their own film. At the time, I dismissed news of Bolt as a lame Disney attempt to copy Pixar but then the two sides made up. All of a sudden you had the Pixar folks coming over to help out the Disney folks. Of course the only proof on paper is the executive producer title that John Lassiter receives but if you see Bolt, you see the Pixar stamp all over the screen.

Bolt follows the Pixar formula in a couple of ways. First the voice casting is spot on. John Travolta disappears behind the white westie fur of Bolt, which was a shock to me. Susie Essman brings her trademark vulgar sass to Mittens the cat but without the actual vulgarity. The character design also mimics Pixar especially in the humans. The network head and Penny (Bolt’s person) are particularly identifiable.

So if it sounds like a Pixar and looks like a Pixar then is it as good as a Pixar? Thankfully for my post turkey addled brain, the answer was a resounding yes. I’m a little biased as I have my own Bolt at home but with that said this is a classic animated tale. The wacky cast of characters making a long journey. Thankfully there are no musical numbers and the adult winks are plentiful. While it’s no Incredibles or Wall-E, Bolt is great escapism and pretty to look at as well (do yourself a favor and spring for the extra bucks to see it in 3D).

I Refuse to Call Them Cheftestants: Week 3

Last night we got the turkey day episode of Top Chef and for a second week in a row, it left me disappointed. Due to the late hour and a belly full of turkey I will be quick this week. I did enjoy the Quickfire Challenge quite a bit. At first I let out a loud groan over the self-promoting cookbook challenge but the “switch to soup” curveball was awesome and I loved seeing the results. Jaime’s soup (pictured above) was my pick and now I want her to open an all soup emporium. The Elimination Challenge however was lacking again. I hate these buffet type challenges. While one or two a year is ok it just seems unfair to have the chefs cook in these environments if you want to see their best work. I was sad to see Richard go because he was an entertaining character. His smores did look pretty bad though. I thought Don Johnson was going to get his walking papers but his organizational skills seemed to save him. I thought the successful dishes looked like nothing special and found myself agreeing with the rest of America that of the three groups featured in last night’s ep, I’d like the Foo Fighters to cook my next Thanksgiving meal.

24: Redemption or “Insert Season 6 Joke Here”

It’s been over a year since 24 aired some fresh material and during that time, the question has been raised as to whether Jack Bauer is still relevant. Based on the 2-hour season 7 trailer, 24: Redemption, that aired this past Sunday, the answer is a resounding no. The “movie” did nothing to wet my appetite as Jack once again was trying to leave his old life behind. Guess what? Jack once again ends up back in an international quagmire thanks to his moral compass. Speaking of morals, the show has decided to bring up the legality of all the torture Jack has dealt out in the past. 24 has worked for me in the past because even in a post 9/11 world, the show is so absurd that you never take it seriously. I mean an African American as President, get out of here. However, the show starts to grind to a halt when the writers try to inject real world parallels. By putting Jack’s tactics at the forefront and by portraying those questioning his tactics as knee jerk unpatriotic liberals, the show does itself a disservice. Never mind that I’m offended but again it’s putting real world glasses over the show. If you start doing that, then we might start to question other things like what fucking year is it in the show world know. I mean every season we skip 1 to 4 years so it must be like 2040 now. Where are the flying cars? While I’ll certainly tune in at the beginning of season 7 this January due to the apparent resurrection of Soul Patch Tony, 24 is officially on a short leash.

Quick Album Review: Britney Spears- Circus

While Britney Spears latest album is supposed to drop next Tuesday, which is her (and mine) birthday, it’s currently streaming here. So while I think I get some bonus tracks or other muckity muck next week, I thought I’d hit you all with an early review. If Blackout was the beginning of Brit’s comeback then Circus is the album that fully restores her to the top. The over produced vocals of Blackout are gone but the pumping dance tracks remain. The title track is worthy of Song of the Year consideration while “If You Seek Amy” is raucous fun. Britney never has had the strongest voice but this album plays to her strong suits. The two ballads are reminiscent of early Britney and don’t inspire the instant skip that some of her later work did, especially “Out from Under”. Obviously we’re not going to break any new ground lyrically but this time around they’re more playful than hit you over the head sexual. There are a couple of tracks I could do without out including “Radar” a bonus track that was included on Blackout. Also the mid-tempo “Unusual You” drags on and on without any reward. Aside from that, Circus is Britney at her bubblegum best. Even a tawdry title like “Leather and Lace” gives way to a classic pop joint that makes you forget about the past missteps by Brit both in the studio and out.

Quick TV Review: Rick & Steve- The Happiest Gay Couple in All the World

While the Fall TV season has been a bit of a letdown, I’ve happily discovered a little animation gem on Logo…Rick & Steve- The Happiest Gay Couple in All the World. Shot in stop motion animation using Playmobile figures from our collective youth, Rick and Steve is a fun, frivolous romp.

All props for discovering this show go to Entertainment Weekly who highlighted the show a couple of weeks back. After catching a season one marathon my partner was hooked and she encouraged me to give season two a watch. The show follows the title couple as well a varied cast in their LGBT community of West Lahunga Beach. The show works best when they focus on the struggles of all the couples. Rick and Steve deal with things gay or straight couples deal with all the time in the form of ex-lovers, body image issues, and starting a family. Sometimes the show belabors the LGBT jokes and goes for the easy jokes far too often, its an overall enjoyable view.

Rick & Steve- The Happiest Gay Couple in All the World, 9pm CST, LOGO

Chain Gang: Uno’s Chicago Grill

I rarely review chain restaurants; in fact, I rarely eat at them. I believe in supporting local eateries and while situations or tastes sometimes dictate a trip to Big Bowl, Red Robin or the Claddagh Pub, I usually don’t write reviews because if you’ve been to one you’ve been to them all. Occasionally though, I have an experience so good or so bad I feel I have to share. A recent visit to Uno’s Chicago Grill has provided just that occasion.

On a recent Saturday night, my partner and I were in the mood for a deep dish pizza pie. Our choices were Madison favorite Gino’s or Uno’s (formerly Pizzeria Uno but apparently that name didn’t test well anymore). Given that it was a football Saturday, we thought it best to avoid downtown and give Uno’s a visit. Obviously, Uno’s made its name in Chicago as one of the inventors of deep dish and over the last 50 plus years has expanded all over the nation. Having been to the original in Chicago with my parents as a small child I’ve always been a fan. Sadly, I think I’ll stick to the frozen version from now on.

Chain restaurants never set themselves apart based on their cuisine so they need to deliver stunning service and Uno’s missed the mark badly. Our visit started innocently enough as we were seated moments after arriving. Our waiter Ed greeted us and took our drink orders. My partner’s Sierra Mist showed up in a timely manner but tasted like a rat had died in the line. A refill turned out better but there was no apology given by Ed and thus our evening began to decline. My margarita came about a half hour later and clearly, Ed had forgotten about it entirely. Thankfully, another staff person brought the $9 drink to our table. I love margaritas but $9 for a rail drink is just ridiculous. That being said the drink was good but coming at the same time as our appetizer is not acceptable. Speaking of said appetizer, we were pleased with the flavors of our deep fried onion strings. The lightly battered strips were fried perfectly and came with a mild jalapeno horseradish sauce. The dish would have been even better if they weren’t lukewarm. Furthermore, our request for silverware and napkins was treated with indifference. By the time our pizza finally arrived, Ed and the staff had clearly given up on even trying to please any of the customers. This time we weren’t given plates, parm or red pepper flakes. Once Ed brought those over, he left us to serve our pizza on our own. If you’ve even been to an Uno’s, you know they always sever their guests the first slices of pie. This omission was yet another nail in the coffin. As for the trademark pizza itself, the results were mostly positive. I’d say that Uno’s frozen division deserves kudos, as their version of the pie is virtually identical to the restaurant’s version. I’m not sure if that’s a rip on the restaurant version or not. Anyway as we finished our meal, Ed couldn’t get us out of there soon enough. Frankly, we couldn’t either.

Again, I expect to be underwhelmed by the food at most chain places but I always hold the service to high standards. Sadly, Uno’s Chicago Grill got failing grades on both accounts. The passable food was not enough to overcome the poor service. If you’re looking for a good deep dish in Madison, go to Gino’s and if you want Uno’s visit your grocer’s freezer.

www.unos.com

I Refuse to Call Them Cheftestants: Week 2

Top Chef made two eliminations last week so now that we’re down to 15 contestants, I might start using some proper names instead of India girl, crazy old lady, bald man #2, then again, where’s the fun in that. This week the chef’s took a big step back and so did the season.

One of the hardest things about keeping a reality show fresh is the challenges. Top Chef has excelled at this throughout its first four seasons. Last night however, the challenges just stunk, each for different reasons.

The Quickfire Challenge started innocently enough as Padma introduced guest judge extraordinaire (she also doles out the criticism regularly on Iron Chef America) Donatella Arpaia. Then Padma introduced the challenge, create your own version of a New York staple. I wish they had stopped right there or better yet, brought out the knife block and have the contestants choose from bagels, pizza, knishes, hot dogs, etc. It’s not as if New York has one iconic dish. Unfortunately, in the interest of boring TV, the producers chose only one…the hot dog. Then Padma throws in a completely unnecessary twist by bringing in the hot dog queen of Queens. She says something about the contestants having to beat the hot dog queen and my interest is piqued. In the end, though the hot dog queen is merely a confusing prop. Oh, there was some cooking too. India girl (Radhika) once again falls back on her trademark flavors that she insisted were not her trademarks. This time however, she pulls out a win. In a case of foreshadowing, Jill makes a fool of herself by using store bought hot dogs while her compatriots all made their own. In the end, it was a boring challenge and a missed opportunity.

The Elimination Challenge was even more confusing. First Padma says they’re opening a Top Chef restaurant and immediately I’m thinking we’re having an early Restaurant Wars. Then she states that they’ll all be making a New American dish and will be split into apps, entrees and desserts. Ok so they’ll be on teams then? Nope they just get to randomly choose what they want to do. There was absolutely no structure to this challenge whatsoever. The only pleasant surprise about the challenge is that the guests at the restaurants are all chefs who applied for the season but didn’t make the cut. This made for some awesome criticism. Tom Colicchio made the mistake of letting these folks stage the challenge in his flagship restaurant, Craft. After seeing the food that came out of his kitchen, I’m guessing he regrets that. Other then the inventive Carpaccio created by half of Team Europe and the corn soup created by half of Team Rainbow, the dishes looked absolutely horrible. You knew things were off to a bad start when Bald Man#2 (Josea) went for jarred crab. If you’re supposedly a seafood specialist, I’d hope you know what good seafood is! Meanwhile Jill fell in love with an ostrich egg even though she’d never used one before. Smart choice hot dog girl! Lastly, you had crazy old lady Arian complaining about making a dessert even though she chose to make a dessert. All three dishes looked like disasters but in fairness to those three, the majority of the dishes looked like crap. Arian was my pick to go as her meringue martini with cherry surprise (pictured above) looked worse then a McDonald’s yogurt parfait. Jill however was sent packing and after her inability to use the English language in defending her dish, I can’t blame the judges.

All in all just a disappointing week. Next week looks promising as the Foo Fighters show up for a Thanksgiving filmed in July. Hopefully we can see the chefs and the season rebound. On a personal note, don’t expect my coverage on the ep until Friday next week as I’ll be travelling for the holidays. Gobble gobble!

Casualty of Fall: Family Guy

Yes this is an outcome that has been foreshadowed for months, I'm dropping Family Guy. After returning from cancellation, Family Guy returned to Fox and was a fresh of breath air. Now a few years later its clear the show offers nothing but stale farts. I thought the random pop culture references were running thin last season but this season they are just relentlessly bad. Perhaps its because Seth McFarlane is spread too thin with Family Guy, the horribly bad American Dad, and the soon to premiere spin off that no one asked for, Cleveland. Maybe its just time to bring in fresh blood to the writing room. More likely though its just that there's only so many Rick Astly, Boba Fett, and Doc Brown references we can take.

On a side note that's 3 shows I've dropped so far this year while I've only added one in Fringe. 24, Lost and Dollhouse can't get here soon enough!

I Refuse to Call Them Cheftestants: Week 1

Welcome to my new weekly column recapping and reviewing the new season of Top Chef (9pm CST, Bravo!). Similar to my Runway Roundup, don’t expect a blow by blow but rather my own take on the dazzling array of dishes and egos. With that said, let’s get on to week 1.

As always, the “getting to know you” first episode is always a bit of a failure. With 17 competitors lined up you’re inevitably left trying to figure out such questions as, “which bald guy is European again?” Still if you’re a reality vet like me, you know that the overcrowded kitchen is unavoidable. A few folks stood out like the self-taught kid from Vegas. The two Euro-dudes certainly made an impression, although I’m still not sure if a vinaigrette is an emulsion. I like two thirds of Team Rainbow and better still liked their cooking. Ah yes the cooking isn’t that what we’re here for?

The first Quickfire Challenge marked the first time they’ve sent a contestant packing before the first Elimination Challenge. I was surprised to see the kid from the culinary institute struggle here as I thought his knife skills would be up to snuff since he’s using them in school everyday. Once he and his school buddy went to the final stage of the challenge and churned out apple salads, you knew they were on the chopping block. Perhaps my favorite part of the Quickfire was the Indian contestant insisting in an earlier interview that she was not going to turn out Indian cuisine and then doing a chutney when stuck in a pickle. In the end, though it probably saved her as the lady with the boring salad hit the bricks.

Having the new season in New York is obviously going to provide a wealth of opportunities for challenges. I loved last year’s first head-to-head challenge and enjoyed that the producers brought it back this year. Having the contestants create dishes from the various ethnic neighborhoods was both fun and challenging. I felt so bad for the Russian team while I marveled at the ease presented to the Italian team. Our judges were already in midseason form as they dissected the dishes. My personal favorites were the two Jamaican dishes and the Indian dishes. The culinary kid was clearly the lowest. His salmon with black rice noodles and bok choy (pictured above) looked like something out of a culinary school or worse yet a mall food court. The guy just lacked imagination and refused to learn even though he had all of Chinatown at his fingertips. Meanwhile the Vegas kid embraced the challenge of cooking Indian food for the first time. He showed off an impressive palate as he sampled dishes at the local store and then turned around and incorporated those same flavors in his dish.

It’s a long season folks but based on last night I’m expecting some drama and a hell of a lot of good food. Tom, Padma and Gail clearly enjoy this and their enthusiasm is part of what makes Top Chef the best reality show going today. Just keep it light on the Rocco this year.

Quick Music Review: The Killers New Singles

Just a couple of thoughts on two new singles by The Killers, a band I was ready to write off as stale and done.

Human- A superb Killers track. This brings to mind the band at its Mr. Brightside best. The slow/fast alternating rhythms are standard formula but Brandon Flowers seems to have found a new vocal range that really propels the track.

Spaceman- The second single off the new album Day and Age takes the formula and builds it up to a new high. It’s an anthem that deserves to play in front a crowd of 50,000 in Leeds or Bonnaroo. The Killers were beginning to come off as a self-mockery after Sam’s Town but if this is an indication of where this band is going then I want to go along for the ride.

Quick Music Review: Shiny Toy Guns- Season of Poison

Ever made an impulse purchase on iTunes? Sometimes it can pay off, like when I purchased Shiny Toy Guns album We are Pilots after their free single “Le Disko”. The album was a revelation and I had found a new favorite band. Sometimes though the impulse buy can lead to extreme self-loathing, like when I purchased Shiny Toy Guns follow up album Season of Poison. Gone is front woman Carah Faye Charnow who’s voice was absolutely enthralling on Pilots. Also gone is the electro-rock sound that defined the band. In its place is a more rock oriented vibe that evokes Fall Out Boy. Is it a horrible album? No, there are a few bright spots that either harkens back to their past like “Frozen Oceans" and the single “Ricochet”. Still I must say buyer beware if you’re expecting a Pilots repeat.

Quick Music Review: P!nk- Funhouse

With all the drama around Britney and the silliness about Beyonce and her new name, you almost forgot that pop music could be fun. In her latest album Pink brings pop back to its fun musical roots but still manages to bring some heavy lyrics. Take “Sober” where she reflects on drinking over thumping beats, and a catchy hook. Her first single “So What” is my song of the Fall and the subtly thought provoking “Ave Mary A” is an instant winner. Brit might be back but Pink never went away and Funhouse proves it.

Quick Music Review: Dillinger Four- C I V I L W A R

Six years is a lot of time to wait for a new album. Six years is even longer if it just happens to be your favorite band in the world. It’s hard not to have expectations, good or bad, when you’re waiting that long for an album. Will it be a legendary opus or will it a soul crushing defeat? CIVIL WAR the long awaited album from Minneapolis punkers, Dillinger Four falls more towards the opus then the defeat. Possessing a much cleaner, refreshed sound then their previous work, D4 still manages to punish your ears with a kinetic rock that only they can do. The highlight for me is “Gainesville” which exemplifies a typical D4 track but shows what a little more production value can do for it. The album is a bit light on vocals from bassist Paddy Costello but “Fruity Pebbles” is a classic Paddy with his gruff voice pacing a bass heavy track. Is this an instant classic for me, no, but it’s damn good listening and while Obama’s victory has erased some of the angst in me, D4 reminds me there’s plenty to be pissed off about.

A Jingle for the Product

Ok I’ve Got Some More Election Thoughts

• Well the morning has come and much to the chagrin of the gun and bible clutchers, the sky was not raining blood, abortions were not being given away on every corner, and Sesame Street was not replaced by gay porn. Obama’s America looks just about the same but you can tell that some folk have a little more spring in their step.
• Forget my misery as a Viking fan, my biggest cross to bear as a Minnesotan is our insane tendency to vote for craptacular third party candidates. First, we became a laughing stock for electing The Body our Governor. Now it looks like Jesse’s campaign director snagged enough votes to keep Norm “Bush in training” Coleman in the Senate. Seriously Gopher state, what the fuck is wrong with you?
• Perhaps more disappointing then Franken is the outcome of Prop 8 in California. While the ballots are still being counted, the outcome looks grim. The most “liberal” state in the union is about to pass an amendment banning gay marriage. This most likely will lead to the US Supreme Court and with their current make up, that’s a scary thought. While Obama’s huge win might make some of you think the culture war is over, I’m afraid it’s just getting warmed up. In other words, Canada, keep your doors open.

Final Edition: HD Elections and Thank You America For Electing Change

8pm- Showing up at my polling place this morning a whole 20 minutes ahead it opening and still being number 138 in line, almost makes my cynical heart melt. Of course turning on the TV can turn that off quickly. Here are my thoughts as of 8pm CST (stay tuned for drunken ramblings either win, or god forbid lose):

• First, the TV geek in me is loving the HD experience on NBC, CBS, and ABC (sorry Fox I’m not fair and balanced so I didn’t check on you). The continuous side data is a politicos dream.
• I miss Tim Russert more then I ever thought but NBC still has the best coverage. That being said they still haven’t learned from 2000 as they called Pennsylvania waaaay too early.
• If you’re reading this in California and haven’t voted then run out and vote against Prop 8. While I live in the backwater Midwest where the majority of our hicks think gay is a disease, you Cali folks as supposed to get it and be smarter. When the State Supreme Court legalized gay marriage last year, I predicted that it was in an effort to force the issue to a negative outcome. Prove me wrong Cali-folks and show us that you aren’t as bigoted as the rest of this country.
• Damn I wish I was in Chicago right now. That crowd is beginning to look amazing.
• I wish the local news was that compelling. With our polls just closing I’m already sick of the repeated “polls were busy”, “machines aren’t working”, and lets go to the party headquarter stories. Just stick with national stuff until you can actually tells us something other then tomorrow’s weather.
• If you haven’t guessed, I’m pulling for Obama. I’ve got to say, while I don’t find him as liberal as I’d like, I really can’t imagine what it means for us as a country if McCain wins.

Ok so at 9pm things are looking good but something tells me its still going to be a late night. Thankfully Stewart and Colbert are now up.

9:15- Maybe it's time to actually your hopes up when Colbert and Stewart are feeling so good. You gotta believe Stewart would be going off the wall crazy if McCain was looking strong.

Is anyone feeling bad for the news networks that sunk so much money into their sets only to have this wrap up at a decent hour?

Franken is still fighting in Minnesota, keep hope alive.

Anyone catch Dan Rather on HDNet? He's reporting from the Newseum! Are you kidding me, how awesome is that? I want to visit the Newseum next time I'm in HDVille. As a bonus it appears Mark Cuban and HDNet has given him a green light on rambling.

10:30- So it's official. Don't screw this up Mr. Obama. We've given you a chance. America is giving you a chance to prove that changes isn't just a catch phrase.

You gotta love that the hate the McCain babyfuckers...I mean McCain supporters, still is with them as he concedes. I'm not sure how I feel about him playing up the race card in his concession speech. It just seemed odd. Where's Sara's kids now? Her tears are the first drops in the 2012 race.

I'm also just as sore a winner as I am a loser. Don't think I'm going to buy this "we need to work together" bullshit. We had to sit through 8 years of an imperial presidency run by an evil son of a bitch (literal and figuratively). Let's give it back in spades and legalize gay marriage, ensure that Roe vs. Wade stays in tact, and get health care for every American. Oh yeah we should probably get out of that Iraq place too.

Final note, how great, and by great I mean fucking awful, was the CNN Hologram gimmick. The high note being the above picture.

Why Don’t I Love Zack and Miri Make a Porno?

If you’re new to the blog, then let me introduce myself, I’m Elliot the Kevin Smith whore. Yes I’ll take my Kevin Smith any way I can get it. I’ve seen all his films on their opening weekends. I’ve got all of them on DVD and have logged double-digit viewings on each. I’ve listened to every commentary, unearthed every Easter egg, and watched every deleted scene. I’ve read every comic book the man has penned, right down to that 3 year opus that was Spidey and Black Cat. I started watching Reaper on the CW partly because Kev directed the pilot. I even own all the Inaction Figures he’s produced including a signed Silent Bob figure on my porch. Yes I’m a whore for Smith, which is why this review has taken me two days to write.


Zack and Miri Make a Porno is the latest flick from Smith and is the first one that has not stuck with me after viewing. That’s not to say this isn’t a quality flick. It’s funny as hell, has a kick ass soundtrack, and for the adolescent boy crowd, plenty of titties. Seth Rogen and Elizabeth Banks really deliver as the title characters that after hitting rock bottom make the natural decision to erase their debt by making porn. Rogen is at home in a Kevin Smith film as his rough exterior with a heart of gold shtick really works here. Sure we’ve seen it before in Knocked Up but it still works even if it’s getting a bit old. Banks, who really showed her comedy chops on Scrubs the last two seasons, gives the film a solid base but still manages to add a fair amount of physical giggles to the screen. Craig Robinson (The Office) is the clear breakout star. Over the course of the flick he seems to get all the best lines. The rest of the supporting cast is on their game including Smith stalwart Jason Mewes. Stepping outside of the “Jay” comfort zone, Mewes doesn’t exactly redefine himself as an actor but certainly shows some different range. The movie has plenty of great moments and the chemistry between Rogen and Banks makes the inevitable relationship storyline believable. In the end though I’m left wanting more.

Smith’s films have always spoken to me on a very personal level. Whether it was the parallels in my own life on screen or the inspiration he provided to me as a writer and filmmaker, Smith spoke to me on some level whether it was the Green Arrow comic book or the lunacy of Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back. Chasing Amy and Clerks II are two of my favorite movies not because of the amazing look of the films, but because the story Smith tells is something I can identify with. Zack and Miri is a cute film but in the end there is no part that speaks to me. I feel like we’ve watched Smith grow as a person and filmmaker with each flick and here there is no growth. Again it’s a good flick and maybe I’m just one of those crazy demanding fans that wants more. I still recommend seeing it and will probably pick it up on DVD in a few months. I’ll also probably pick up the latest DVD of Smith doing his public speaking gigs (Threevning with Kevin Smith). Then again maybe I’m just growing out of dick and fart jokes. Jesus I hope not.