Top 10 of 2006: My Moments

Ok so I lied before when I said Monday's column was the last best of 2006 list.I ripped this idea off from my friend Kristen so big ups to her for the inspo. 2006 will probably go down as a pivotal year for me and one that provided more memorable moments then I can count but since I am counting here are 10 of them.

1. Moving Home- This whole process really dominated my year. As of November 2005 I knew I was going to end up back in Minneapolis but the question was when. After months of failed job searching I finally packed up and headed home at the end of July. I found an apartment I love, reconnected with my friends, and most importantly was nearby to lend a helping hand to my mom when she needed it. While I miss my peeps and even Madison itself, the move has turned out to be the right…uh…move.

2. Steve’s wedding- 2006 saw my best friend tie the knot with his lady love. I was honored to be his best man and the unofficial dance leader at the reception. Definitely the single most memorable 24 hours of the year due to the chance to connect with a large group of friends all in the same place for the first time in a long time. It also featured the best sing along on a shuttle bus ever.

3. Vegas, Baby, Vegas- I took my first real vacation in 6 or 7 years this fall when I spent a long weekend in the town that many people have said was made for me. Well turns out they were right and while the ol’ pocket book might have been a bit pissed, I completely embraced the experience from taking a limo from the airport, to ignoring the need for sleep, to enjoying my first Borg sphere cocktail, to the discovery of Star Wars: The Slot Machine, to the monorail, and my # 7 moment.

4. Starting the Self Loathing Pop Culture Fanatic blog- For the last couple of years I had hit a huge wall when it came to any kind of writing. I was still trying to write the great American screenplay or novel but my notepads tended to fill up with thoughts on my life or list after list ranking items from our mass media. At the end of 2005 I started to blog on MySpace and when the demand expanded I opened up this site in 2006 and haven’t looked back since.

5. Halloween Party Bus- Man I am a sucker for these things. I don’t know why but the idea of gathering a group of friends on a bus, with alcohol and loud music just tickles my fancy. No better way to spend Halloween weekend than listening to the Buffy theme song, drinking beers and adjusting the snakes on your Snakes on A Plane costume.

6. Hitting my Long Term Weight Loss Goal- In the last month or so, I finally hit the mark I’ve been shooting for on the scale. It took over 4 years and about 60-70 lbs. but I’m finally at a healthy weight for myself. I celebrated by shaving of facial hair for the first time in years and quickly discovered that even though I’d lost the weight, I still don’t have a chin.

7. Playing Poker at a Table in Vegas- After years of home games, online games, and the occasional free tournament, I’d been itching to sit down at a real casino table. On my last night in Vegas I got to sit down at a table with a couple of friends and while I lost I gotta say that the whole thing left me feeling six ways of excited. Even after I got knocked out it was a blast watching the table continue to play.

8. Camping at an Adult Campground- Get your mind out of the gutter; it’s not an adult campsite in the biblical sense, it’s actually just a campsite that caters to grown folk who like to stay up late drinking and playing bean bag toss in the night.

9. Retiring the Britney Dance- After all these years of doing my dance to Brit’s “Hit Me One More Time”, doing my finale in front of an appreciative audience really made for a special memory.

10. Dinner at 20.21- For her birthday this year my mom wanted to go to Wolfgang Puck’s new restaurant at the Walker Art Museum in Minneapolis . I was a little skeptical but it was her birthday and I didn’t have much of a choice. Thank god I didn’t because this was truly the best meal I had all year. I eat out a ton and even more so since I moved home and while I had a bunch of great meals nothing sticks out in my head like this place. The Asian fusion dishes all bedazzled my taste buds with flavor after flavor popping on my tongue.

Top 10 of 2006: Movies

Today we finish our top 10 lists with movies. On one hand I haven’t seen that many flicks this year. On the other hand a lot of them have been so marginal that I don’t think they deserve to be on any kind of top 10 list (Superman, Pirates 2, For Your Consideration etc). Also as I wrote about last week in my Golden Globes column I’m hopelessly behind on my award quality movies so this list could change over the next few months but enough with the excuses let’s get on with the list.

10. (tie) Little Miss Sunshine- I think it says something that this might be the most overrated movie of the year and yet it still lands at number ten. If you separate this movie from the Oscar hype and the over the top critical praise you still have a nice little movie. The cast shines especially Steve Carell and Toni Collette. The script however reads like most dysfunctional family black comedies, and you get the feeling you’ve seen this all before. Still it is funny and well acted and while it doesn’t leave you with a lasting impression it was still a top 10 viewing experience for me.

10.(tie)Cars- Pixar continues to make the best animated movies around. While Cars doesn't live up the benchmark that The Incredibles sets it still succeeds on many levels. If it out does The Incredibles anywhere it's in the always improving visual sense. From the race track to the beautiful waterfall scene these animators are always breaking new ground. My one complaint is that I've always admired Pixar for casting voices based on the visual characters but this time it feels like they created the images around the actors especially Paul Newman. Anyway if that's my only complaint (other then the fact that the stupid movie made me a tad watery at the end) then this surely belongs among the years best.

9. Match Point- I’ve never been a huge Woody Allen fan. Except for Hannah and her Sisters and Crimes and Misdemeanors I’ve usually thumbed my film snob nose at him. Match Point now makes 3 Allen films I really enjoyed. A big part of this has to be due to the fact that Allen changed up his formula a bit. No New York and no him can go a long way. Scarlet Johansson is a goddess in this flick and the tensions both sexual and violent are exasperating to the audience.

8. V for Vendetta- When I heard the Matrix guys were adapting the classic graphic novel I threw up a little in my mouth. Those guys really lost me with the last two Matrix films. Happily V brings back fond memories of the first Matrix and their debut film Bound. Granted the two didn’t direct V but from all accounts they pulled all the strings on set. Natalie Portman gives another performance that will further devote legions of geeks to her around the world while Hugo Weaving gives a performance that makes you think the mask actually shows emotions.

7. Dreamgirls- I'm not exactly a fan of the modern musical film. I loved Moulin Rouge but that was mostly because it was completely different then anything I'd seen before and the songs were all pop standards. Then we had the god awful experience of Chicago . So it was with extreme trepidation that I went to see Dreamgirls today. Happily I can give it a very positive review. Jennifer Hudson was so good that for the first time in my life I actually thought American Idol might be worth checking out. Eddie Murphy shines in his 20 years too late Truman Show role and Beyonce, well she's hot and she doesn't stink it up too bad. The first hour kind of dragged and felt a little misguided but the last hour was a fast and furious finale full of the best music of the movie.

6. Brick- Wow. That was the only word I had to describe my reaction after watching Brick. The camera work, the lighting, the dialogue, the performances, pretty much everything in this movie took my breath away. It’s a complete movie going experience and my surprise of the year. The film noir in high school device does not come off as cheesy or out of place because everything in the film gives itself so completely to it.

5. Bubble- As we sit and wait for Steven Soderberg’s next two big Hollywood productions (The Good German, Ocean’s 13), he gave us a gem of a small film this last year called Bubble. Perhaps better known for its release (it was out on DVD, cable, and theaters all in the same day) the film itself is a gem. Shooting in a small town on the Ohio/West Virginia border, Soderberg used locals to fill in his cast and the result is spectacular. Running under 90 minutes the film draws you in to these people’s lives and holds you there even after the credits are done running.

4. Inside Man- There was time when Spike Lee could do no wrong. Lately however he had made a string of self indulgent craptacular flicks. Inside Man put a stop to that and some. The heist movie comes with some of the standard twists but Lee puts his own spin on them. Clive Owen gives what I believe to be one of the best performances of the year, while Denzel turns in his usual quality when working with Lee. I’ll take this flick as a sign Lee’s back on his game and if his rumored Rodney King riot project is up next, count me in.

3. Snakes on a Plane- Come on, if you’ve ever read this blog in the last six months you knew this would be on here somewhere. For me SoaP hits at #3 because of the complete experience that it was. I saw it opening night and those memories will stick with me forever. It was like going to see the new Star Wars flick but without the incredible let down. This film delivered as there were a ton of mutherfuckin’ snakes on that mutherfuckin’ plane. The DVD roles out sometime in January and I’m already thinking about some kind of SoaP viewing party.

2. Borat- I finally saw this flick Saturday night and I can't stop thinking about it. My side literally hurt during the film but it's the construction of the film that stays with me. It's amazing how a movie with such a simple construct can stir such complicated emotions. I think I was more grossed out by my fellow Americans ignorance then I was by naked man wrestling.

1. Clerks II- This was truly the best flick I’ve seen all year. After viewing it a couple of more times on DVD I think this might edge up to number 2 on my list of Kevin Smith’s best. Never have dick and fart jokes fit so well with a tale of love between friends. You might laugh, but I believe the restraint Smith shows in this film is what seals it. He dialed down the cameos and those that were there were underplayed. He scaled back his “let’s do a big action as a metaphor for the moral” ending and just left it to what he does best two talking heads.

Top 10 of 2006: TV

As I made out this list I realized what a great year it has been for the situation comedy which I believe was declared dead about two years back. Also, it looks like NBC might be on the verge of a come back as 5 of my top 10 were brought to us via the peacock. Without further ado, here’s the list:

Honorable Mention: Family Guy, 24, Nip/Tuck, Gilmore Girls, Veronica Mars, Dr. Who, The Amazing Race, Survivor, The OC

10. The Hills (Reality/MTV)- Okay so I had to have one completely guilty please on this list and what better show in 2006 then The Hills. While the new season of Laguna Beach struggled with newbies, The Hills thrived at mixing established faces like LC and Jason with their new wealthy brain challenged neighbors.

9. Scrubs (Comedy/NBC)- Despite the fact that the show saw more time spots then viewers, Scrubs persevered with another great year. The Carla/Turk pregnancy turned out to be the best storyline the two characters had ever been given, while Dr. Cox’s turn to the bottle showed how this show can punch you in the gut even while you’re laughing.

8. Project Runway (Reality/Bravo)- 2006 featured the end of the 2nd and the entire 3rd season of what has become my favorite reality show. The creative challenges, Tim Gunn and the contestants all make this show worth coming back for. It also raises your knowledge of fashion which can be viewed as either positive or negative.

7. The Venture Brothers (Animated/Cartoon Network)- Here’s a show that took me a while to warm too but now I can’t imagine my 2006 without it. The pre-credit teaser to the 2nd season opener was the best opener to any show all year long. The two part finale sent a new high for the show and featured the best guest star of the year (the guy that flew the Falcon with Lando in Jedi).

6. Studio 60 (Drama/NBC)- I missed Aaron Sorkin and more importantly TV missed Aaron Sorkin. 2006 brought him back to network TV with the sublime Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip. While I was pretty sure I’d fall hard for this show it has surprised me. Amanda Peet has been a revelation as Jordan and DL Hughley has more chops then I think anyone could have predicted. Best of all we get to enjoy the show for a whole year, so thank you NBC and thank you Aaron Sorkin.

5. Heroes (Drama/NBC)- A show that creates a deep mythology AND something happens every week that progresses said mythology? I wouldn’t have believed it myself it I hadn’t seen it. I must admit that when I saw a preview in front of a movie back in July I wasn’t that interested, but as the buzz started to grow towards the premiere I decided to check it out, and thank god I did or I would’ve missed the catchphrase of the year: “Save the cheerleader, save the world.”

4. Lost (Drama/ABC)- While it could probably take a lesson from Heroes and actually…you know…have something happen, Lost remained one of the best in 2006. The 2nd season finale easily topped the first and while it created a multitude of new questions, it also created an illusion that the audience was making progress. Season 3 of course has set back some of that progress but the “fall finale” was excellent and I think 2007 holds a great deals of answers…and questions.

3. 30 Rock (Comedy/NBC)- Rural Juror? Live every week like its shark week? Beeper King? How many great moments has this show had it in its short run? After a rather boring pilot this show has been on fire. Alec Baldwin, Tina Fey and Tracy Morgan are the best triple threat on TV right now. Hopefully the move to Thursday works for this ratings challenged show.

2. Battlestar Galactica (Drama/Sci Fi)- Usually you spot a moment like the second season finale where Galactica jumped ahead a year and you say they’ve jumped the shark. Battlestar has found yet another way to confound the constructs of television by not only defying this idea but by beating it into the ground. The jump forward provided a 3rd season full of tension, flashbacks, and believe it or not humor. It’s a shame people still look at this as sci-fi first and great TV second.

1. The Office (Comedy/NBC)- While the first season showed the American version would do nothing to tarnish the British original, the second and now third season are proving it can match or even exceed the original. From the booze cruise to the introduction of the Stamford branch, this year has brought the show from good to great.

Top 10 of 2006: Music

Welcome one and all to what has become an annual tradition, as I make my picks for the top 10 movies, songs, and TV shows of 2006. Last year I did this on the old MySpace blog so this is the premiere edition located at the Self Loathing blog.

Honorable Mention: Lights and Sounds- Yellowcard, Morris Brown- Outkast, On the Radio- Regina Spektor, Goodbye Earl- Me First and the Gimmee Gimmees, Bossy- Kellis

10. The Kill- 30 Seconds to Mars: Perhaps they made the list because of my man love for Jordan Catalano (aka Jared Leto) or perhaps it’s the fact that this song rocks your socks.

9. Crystal Ball- Keene: Ah the musical evolution of P Cobb continues as I ventured this year into Coldplay type territory with Keene . These boys really hit me with this track that reminded me that not all rock has knock your socks off sometimes it just needs to curl them up.

8. Love Me or Hate Me- Lady Sovereign: A female rapper for England sounds like nothing but a gimmick but the midget with the big ears tears it up on this track. Definitely my favorite jam of the last two months, I pray we don’t deport her.

7. Out Here All Night- Damone: Proof that the free download of the week that iTunes offer is always worth checking out. The best band name of the year brings back memories of Maiden and Priest with the excellent guitar work on this track.

6. I Bet You Look Good on the Dance Floor- Arctic Monkeys: 2006 was supposed to be the year of the Monkeys but it turned out to be more hype then result. I thought the music stood up the hype especially this track that I often played at ear bleed levels driving down the highway.

5. Sexyback- Justin Timberlake: This is a late entry as I resisted this song for the last 4 months. However in the end I think we all want JT to bring sexy back because the world really needs it. The song just can’t be stopped no matter how much you try.

4. When You Were Young- The Killers: Here’s a perfect example of releasing a single that makes people slobber in anticipation for an album. The classic Killer’s formula is in full effect here (speed up, slow down, speed up), and it’s done to perfection.

3. Crazy- Gnarls Barkley: These guys are hands down the artists of the year for 2006. Their album St. Elsewhere turned out to be one of those albums where you keep going back and downloading track after track. Who knew that after seeing Cee Lo spoil his daughter on MTV’s My Sweet Sixteen a couple years back that we’d be celebrating him as one of the musical geniuses of 2006.

2. Welcome to the Black Parade- My Chemical Romance: The album of the year spawned my number two single. Operatic and cinematic in its scope the track stirs the heart and feeds the brain. (Man I am on fire today with my metaphors!)

1. Gone Daddy Gone- Gnarls Barkley: 2 songs in the top 3? You betcha especially when it’s the cover of the year (sorry Me First although I love your Dixie Chicks cover). I always think a good cover is one that makes you think fondly of the original but is different enough that you can embrace it as a stand alone product. Danger Mouse takes the original beat and amps it up just enough to give this track an infectious grove that carried me through the summer.

Top 10 Christmas Movies & Specials

While I’m preparing my year end top 10 lists and to honor the birth of our lord and savior Santa Claus, I thought I’d whip up a list of my top visual aids during the holiday season.


10. Santa vs. The Snowman- Does anyone out there remember this special? The year had to be 1996 or 97 when this CG animated special aired. It featured an all out war between Santa and the snowmen that was violent and funny as hell. Unfortunately every Christmas since then I’ve not been able to find it in the ol’ TV guide. From what I remember (I believe there was much alcohol involved the first time I saw it) the special was not really appropriate for kids so maybe that’s why it got the heave ho but then again a couple years ago I saw that it was showing in some IMAX theaters around the country. If I could see it just one more time then it might move all the way to the top of the list or drop off completely if I’m remembering it all wrong.


9. Star Wars Holiday Special- Here was another special that for many years I thought I imagined from a drug induced haze. Of course I was 7 or 8 when it aired so I don’t think I can blame it on drugs. It wasn’t until I got to college that I met other people who shared my vivid yet confused memories of a Star Wars show that took place between A New Hope and Empire Strikes Back featuring all of the original cast and a cartoon introducing Bobba Fett. Turns out George Lucas was absolutely disgusted with the special and forced Fox to only air it the one time. Eventually I was able to track down a dubbed copy from my local geek emporium and relive the experience. What I found was that George was right. This special is so bad that a drug induced haze is probably the only way you can make it through the entire thing. The first 10 minutes introduces Chewbacca’s family preparing for his return home to celebrate Life Day and consists only of growling and exaggerated gestures. It only gets better from there as Chewy’s dad has virtual sex with Dianne Carroll, his son Lumpy beats off to an early rendition of Cirque De Solei, and to top it off Carrie Fisher sings. I’ve seen parts pop up on YouTube once in a while so check it out; just make sure you have your drug of choice handy.


8. Elf- One of the true new modern classics. Will Ferrell is at his comedic best playing up the wide eyed Buddy. James Caan, Zoey Deschanel, and Mary Steenbergen all put in quality efforts. My only gripe is that they rip off the miracle ending of my number 2 film.


7. Bad Santa- The ultimate anti Christmas movie. It pretty much takes everything that people hold dear about the holidays and flushes them down the crapper. Billy Bob shines as the drunk would be grinch. Plus anytime I get to see Lauren Graham whore it up a little I get all tingly inside.


6. It’s a Wonderful Life- This used to be higher on my list but I think I’m just over it now. There have been too many parodies, remakes, and tributes for me at this point to not look at this classic with a cynical eye. That’s not to say that I don’t watch it every year it just doesn’t quite hit me the same way. By the way, The OC did a phenomenal take on the whole thing last week which was both funny and moving.


5. Miracle on 34th Street - There’s only one Miracle on 34th Street and it’s the original shown in black and fucking white. I don’t want to see any remakes or colorized versions in front of me or I will absolutely lose my mind. Little Natalie Wood gives one of the best performances by a little kid ever and I’ll be damned if I don’t start cheering every time those bailiffs start dumping the mail on the desk of the judge.


4. A Charlie Brown Christmas- The music, the dancing, the tree. These are just 3 of the things that you will remember for the rest of your life after watching A Charlie Brown Christmas for the first time. Truly a timeless special that never feels out of date.


3. A Christmas Story- I love this movie and yes I’m old enough to remember seeing it in the theater the year it came out. While most of the things on this list predate me this movie belongs to my generation. There’s nothing better then flipping by TBS (or is it TNT) on Christmas Eve when they begin their 24 hour marathon of the flick.


2. A Very Brady Christmas- Every year I watch this and every year I groan at the horrible jokes, the bad hair and the cheesy solutions to everyone’s problems and I love it. I’m a bit of a Brady nut and every time we get to that final scene where Carol and co literally sing Mike out of that cave in, I shed a tear or two. Also, and I’m not kidding you, every time I watch it I discover something new (not good necessarily but new).


1. White Christmas- Growing up, I was always criticized by my folks for loving this movie. “Holiday Inn is the classic and if you want to hear White Christmas that’s the movie to watch. The other movie was just a cheap way to cash in on the success of the song,” they’d always say. Well I’m sorry there’s just something about this film. Every time I watch it I’m fascinated by Vera Ellen’s abnormally tiny waist, I laugh at Danny Kaye and when the troops surprise the General, I cry gutters full of tears. It might not be recognized as “the true classic” but for my money this is the only film to hear White Christmas in.

The Point Game- What You Missed This Weekend Edition (BEWARE SPOILERS)

Today was supposed to mark the premiere of my year end top 10 lists but I feel the need to hand out and take away some points after what I did and saw this weekend.



+3: Family Guy- I’ve been thinking the show has been in a bit of a rut for the last couple of months. While there have been some good bits, no single episode has really lit my pilot light…until last night. The dueling story lines of the police shortage and Meg and Brian were brilliant. The repeated pronunciation gag had me falling out of the chair and was classic Family Guy humor. I know I’m praising a show after it aired but thankfully the Cartoon Network reairs the new eps a week or two after they originally air so check your schedule and make sure to catch this.


-8: Web Junk 20- Honestly I’ve never been a huge fan of this show but they’ve completely turned me off by employing Jim Bruer. This guy is so bad it makes you wish the old host Patrice was back and that’s saying something. Bruer wasn’t funny on SNL and his career since then has thankfully been under the radar so why couldn’t VH1 keep it that way.


-3: Breaking Bonaduce Producers- Wow VH1 really made my doghouse this weekend. I’m docking some points from the producers of Breaking Bonaduce for their heavy handed wishful thinking ending to the second season. While I believe that Danny is out of his mind it does appear that’s he’s committing himself to a straight and narrow life which of course spells boring TV. Last night while Danny was being baptized they kept cutting to gathering storm clouds on the horizon as if to indicate that there’s trouble ahead. Really guys, that seems to be stooping a little low. Cut your losses and let Danny live his boring life and please don’t bring him back for another season because I’m afraid if you do you’ll start drugging his water just to get some ratings.


+9: Saturday Night Live- I’ve been raving about the revival of this show all fall and the final episode of 2006 was the cherry on top. Justin Timberlake is the hardest working man in show business as he was in all but 1 or 2 sketches and put on 2 musical performances. The digital short featuring the song, Dick In a Box is an instant classic of Lazy Sunday proportions. The sequel to Omletteville was really good and the news continued to show that Seth Myers can really pull off this head writer gig. iTunes is now selling this season’s shows a few days after they air so check it.

+3: Survivor- Lately I’ve been on a good streak where people I want to win reality shows are actually winning. This years Survivor continued the streak. I really enjoyed this season once we got past the race wars gimmick and I especially liked watching the four underdogs make it to the end. The final vote was the closest ever as Yul beat out Ozzie and honestly I would have been happy either way. If I had to choose I’d have voted for Yul. This was also the first time in many seasons where my choice of female eye candy actually made it to the end. Becky, even though you couldn’t start a fire with flint after 38 fricking days on the island, you can still start a fire in my heart.



-1: AMC Rosedale 14 Theaters- About a week and a half ago I wrote about the new multiplex that went up at my nearest mall that resulted in the closing of a classic old suburban theater. At the time I reluctantly embraced the new theater because it promised higher comfort and quality. Saturday night I paid my first visit to the new theater and I got to say it was a mixed bag. First of all, as most of you know, I live in Minneapolis , Minnesota , where it’s usually a little cool in the winter months. As such, we Minnesotans tend to enjoy heated lobbies and what not. For some unknown reason the brain wizards who designed this theater not only kept the theater separate from the mall meaning there was no enclosed walkway but they also put the ticket booth outside. Even the automated ticket machines are outside. Once inside things took a bit of an upturn as I breathed in the smell of new movie theater. The concession counter is guaranteed to lure extra customers as it constantly has video screens going featuring rotating pretzels and popcorn. The theater itself was again a mixed bag. While the screen was a healthy size the theater itself seemed small. Also the pre show “entertainment” was aired in sound only which makes sitting through it that much more annoying (I’m sure this was just a mix up but if you’ve been only been open a week I’d think you’d pay attention to these things). The chairs however were the bomb and the sound and picture quality were top notch. I’m still knocking off a point though because I think the whole outside ticket booth thing is ridiculous.

You Can’t Go Detox Again

After putting my body through the proverbial ringer the last month I decided it was a good time to give it a cleaning. You may remember a couple of months ago I tried a system called Detox. The basic idea is that you take a supplement they provide, then eat fruits, vegetables, and whole grains, while abstaining from alcohol and tobacco, all over 5 days. The result is that all the garbage your body retains, especially in your liver, oozes out of you. When I did it the first time I didn’t notice much of an effect while I was doing it but by the end I think it worked as I felt better and had more energy. I stuck to the plan by eating a lot of plain salad, whole wheat noodles and green beans. I wasn’t hungry for the most part and my only cheats were about 5 cigarettes during the entire 5 days.

After an 8 week period that included weddings, party buses, birthdays and general debauchery, my body was asking for another time out, and I figured doing Detox a second time round would be just the cure. Here we are on the last day and I’ve stuck to the diet again (up until today when my work had a holiday pizza party but still pretty good). I probably averaged only one smoke a day and I abstained from alcohol all week. So why do I feel like I’m barely hanging on? The first time I did this I was never hungry and rarely felt temptation but this time around it was hard to leave the house for fear of some delicious smell wafting by. It’s not like I’m starving myself, I’ve got dried fruit and nuts to snack on but for whatever reason this has been 10 times more difficult. Take yesterday for example. After taking my customary lunch time walk, I was invited to take part in the leftovers of a neighboring department’s pot luck. I declined, however I spent the next hour coming up with excuses to walk by the room where the food was housed. Even their left over Pizza Hut looked good to me and for the most part I can’t stand the Hut. Then of course there was the pizza lunch my own department had today. It took every once of will power to focus on the salad bar and keep my pizza intake at 1 slice. I almost passed out at the smell when I walked in the place.

The first time I did Detox I was like Michael Keaton in an 80’s comedy about the auto industry. I embraced the methods and for the most part didn’t complain…much. This time the novelty has worn off and I’m like Michael Keaton in another 80’s movie where he quit drinking. I’m not swearing off Detox by any means, for the time being it’s nice to take a week off and care for my body, but it’s becoming more of a chore then a challenge.

Golden Globe Nominations or How I’m Completely Unprepared For Awards Season

Well the Golden Globes are out today and my greatest fear has come true; I haven’t seen crap this year when it comes to awards caliber flicks. I’m going to have to go on some kind of cram session before Oscar takes the stage in a couple of months. Here are some quick thoughts on the nominations:

* Nice to see not only Borat get a nod but also Sacha Baron Cohen for what is arguably the most in character performance of the year.
* What’s with the double noms? Leo gets two in acting and Clint for directing but will probably end canceling themselves out.
* Two US films made by Mel Gibson and Clint Eastwood are in the Foreign category? Doesn’t the Hollywood Foreign Press know the definition of foreign.
* The only movie I’ve seen on the nomination list is the stupid Da Vinci Code and I thought the music in that was piss poor.
* No surprise but the best supporting actor category is shaping up to be the best category out there.
* Where are the two goods (Shepherd and German)? Did they come out too late?
* Alec Baldwin nomination for 30 Rock is awesome but if he looses to fucking Tony Shalhoub I’ll brain myself.
* No Studio 60 noms except for supporting actress? Outrage!
* Where are Scrubs and 30 Rock in the Best Comedy category?
* I’m thinking The Departed and Babel are shoo ins for Oscar noms based on these with Dreamgirls an almost sure fire bet to join them, but these nominations do nothing to point to the last two Best Picture spots.

What I’m… (The 2 Columns Turned into 1 Edition)

…Renting (part I).
Miami Vice- Over the years Michael Mann has become one of my favorite directors. When I heard he was going to direct a big screen version of the classic 80’s TV show he helped create I went gaga. However between preoccupying myself with moving this summer and some pretty negative word of mouth I found myself waiting to see Crockett and Tubbs until DVD. As if I had to say it the film looks beautiful. Mann shoots action and night scenes better then anyone in Hollywood . Pay particular attention to the way he illuminates the night sky throughout the film. Colin Ferrell and Jamie Foxx are both pretty damn good and the supporting cast, while lacking some of the Mann regulars, holds their own. The plot however is the undoing of the film. It’s convoluted and actually a bit hard to stay interested in. A friend of mine has a theory that Mann makes a great film every other time out and that this was one of the off years. I agree, but even one of his off efforts is still worth a look.



…Renting (part II).
The Sopranos Season 6: Part I- This is it…they swear. After being threatened and scared in the past HBO and creator David Chase swear this is the swan song for our favorite “family”. Watching the first part of the final season you begin to believe them. Old stories being revisited and…gasp…resolved. Being without the HBO tends to crimp my style when it comes to The Sopranos especially when you have to wait months and months to see what people are gabbing about when it aired. For example I could not escape review after review hammering the Tony storyline that dominates the early part of the season. Now 8 months later I got to judge for myself, and I’ve got to say the reviewers got it wrong. My only complaint is that the tale stretches a few too many episodes. If the handful of episodes airing in 2007 match up to this quality then this show will go out with a bang…actually I’m guessing it will go out with a bang anyway.

…Saying Goodbye To.
Newsweek- Believe it or not there was a time when there was no such thing as the internet. To stay informed about world events you could read a newspaper that besides being a daily responsibility, also made your hands dirty or you could subscribe to a weekly news mag. Being the neat freak I am I read the later partly because my folks had a gift subscription to give away. Newsweek gave me a lot to enjoy over the last 7 years I received them. Their coverage of 9/11 was more even handed then most and I really enjoyed their 2004 election coverage. I still read the Perspectives section in the front and the Tip Sheet in the back but now I find myself reading less of the “hard” news in between. Part of this can be blamed on the internet. Like most people I get my news off the net, from Yahoo, my local newspaper or CNN. But the blame cannot entirely lie with the internet for my divorce from Newsweek. The magazine itself has slipped mightily in the last two years. It seems every other issue contains a 20 page spread about the baby boomers or medical advancements or managing your money. As someone who is young(ish), healthy (or so I hope) and without money, these issues appeal to me not. Thus Newsweek is getting the old heave ho at the beginning of 2007.

…Saying Goodbye To…for now.
Nip/Tuck- Last night the show wrapped up another season and in doing so, proved how good a show it is. I’m going to try and keep this spoiler free for those of you who have yet to see it but I’ve got nothing but praise. The episode last night raced by as loose ends and plot lines were rather predictably tied up. Yes, I said predictably but in this case that’s not a negative. While the events might be predictable the way story gets there is not and that’s what this show does best. Ripping off a tactic from the movie Magnolia and turning in an equally impressive result is a perfect example of how this show has continued to surprise me in the less then 2 seasons I’ve been viewing. The reason I’m saying goodbye for now, is that many have speculated that this might be the show’s last dance. If it is, I can’t imagine a better way for it to predictably go out.

…Getting Enough Distance On.
Boy Bands- Boy did I hate me some N’Sync back in the day. Perhaps it was the annoying songs, the screaming kids on TRL, Carson Daly or the girlfriend who made me listen to them in the bedroom. Either way I hated them, and Backstreet, and any of the other groups that dominated the late 90’s and early 2000’s. A funny thing happened though last week when I was watching Scrubs when they used Bye, Bye, Bye in a gag; I actually found myself dancing along. Maybe its nostalgia or maybe its just that without all the annoying trimmings we can now appreciate the pre packaged pop garbage as fun for what it is. That night I found myself downloading Bye Bye Bye and the Backstreet classic, “I want it that way”, with little to no embarrassment. I think sometimes we turn off music due to all the things that are associated with an artist. These aren’t great songs by any means but they’re certainly worth a good dance or two and if you get enough space you can actually enjoy them.

2006 Entertainer of the Year

We’re winding down 2006 so it’s time to start handing out some hardware. The top ten lists will be out the last week of the year but I’ve decided to go ahead and name my entertainer of the year early since this person has built up such a lead that nobody will be able to catch them down the stretch. First of all let’s meet the runner ups.



Honorable Mention

Britney Spears- Getting rid of K Fed deserves some recognition.

Gnarls Barkley- From their debut album to their “crazy” videos, these guys owned 2006.

Rachel Ray- If only because she seems to be omnipresent.





2nd Runner Up- Tim Gunn

Project Runway continues to grow and succeed and a lot of that is due to everyone’s favorite reality host. Tim overshadows all the judges and most of the contestants. His original and witty comments are reason enough to watch the show. Plus you get the feeling that he actually cares about the contestants in a teacher/student way.



1st Runner Up- Borat (aka Sacha Baron Cohen)

No one had a month like Borat did in November. He premiered his critically acclaimed, commercially successful film. His catch phrases and gestures became part of the pop culture lexicon. Cohen also signed a huge contract to make a film based on his character of fashionista Bruno. Then there were the lawsuits, the protests and the over exposure. Usually it takes a person at least a whole year to pull off that dramatic a swing but Borat managed to do it in 4 weeks.



Entertainer of the Year- Alec Baldwin

In 2006, Alec Baldwin could do no wrong. He turned in critically acclaimed performances in Running With Scissors and The Departed. He’s taken a TV show on his back both on screen and off and run with it. His near record setting performance on Saturday Night Live was a high water mark in the recent resurgence of the show. Pretty much the guy can do no wrong right now. Some will argue that he’s become a caricature of himself but he’s never been the kind of performer that’s gotten too far away from who he really is. If you didn’t enjoy him facing down Conan O’Brien on last week’s 30 Rock then you must have the heart of a black Irish bastard.

The Point Game- Holiday Gift Edition

In honor of the holidays I thought I’d rate some of the many gift ideas that are out there.

+249.99: Nintendo Wii- Despite the fact that I’m a Nintendo loyalist, the new Nintendo has suprassed even my expectations. First off the marketing has been genius. The price of $249.99 while unreasonable in general looks downright arcaic next to the $600 price tag the PS3 carries. Nintendo was also wise enough to hold off on releasing the system until it had enough built up stock to actually satisfy the public. Then there is the game play. Nintendo has always been on the cutting edge when it comes to how you play the game. Who can forget the old Nintendo Power pad? What about the first fully functional and reliable wireless controller for the Gamecube? With the Wii, Nintendo has topped itself again by allowing motion capture remotes to dictate on screen action. The game lineup and graphics may not be at the level of the PS3 but the revolutionary gameplay more then makes up for that. Now of course I haven’t shelled out the big bucks for one or even played one but based on all the above I believe this to be the top gift of the season.

-33: Star Wars Transformers- Maybe this is an age thing but this toy makes me cringe. As a kid (or a 33 year old kid) I loved both Star Wars and the Transformers. Sometimes when I’d create my own stories and characters the two types of toys would even interact. Yet in my wildest, most creative, childhood dreams I never imagined a Han Solo that turns into the Milennium Falcon. These things look more like childhood nightmares. It doesn’t look good enough to be an awesome Transformer or an awesome Star Wars figure, instead it’s just a blah to bad in between.

+7: Underpants- Sure they can be a boring gift but come who couldn’t use an extra pair every now and then, after all we always need a fresh pair of drawers. I’ve already got some picked out for a few people on my list such as Britney, Lindsay, and Paris.

-6: Sparks- Often people like to exchange booze over the holidays as a way of saying you’re much more enjoyable when you’re drunk. Well if you’re looking for something for that special aunt let me NOT recommend Sparks. I've often thought the perfect drink would have alcohol, caffine, and vitamins so when a friend was drinking Sparks last weekend I ran to the store and grabbed a six pack. Now in all fairness the drink tastes good when it hits your mouth, unfortunately the problem comes in when you have to swallow it. This has the worst aftertaste I've ever experienced and this comes from a guy who drank every kind of malt liquor back in the hood (college=hood). So stay away from Sparks and wait for Vitamin Liquor to debut.

RIP- Har Mar Theater

This week saw the closing of yet another old movie house due to the construction of a huge multi-screen complex down the block. Being the walking contradiction I am, the arrival of a modern facility with large screens, digital projectors, superior sound, and comfortable seating brings me great joy but at the same time to see a theater I’ve frequented since high school close down brings me great sorrow. The Har Mar Theater in Roseville , MN is not what you’d call a classic movie theater. Located in a strip mall the exterior has no charm or visual appeal whatsoever. In fact, the theater is actually located in two separate areas of the mall.

In the front you have the Har Mar 1-3. This was the original theater complex that opened in 1970. While the outside isn’t very appealing the inside is a classic example of suburban theater design from the late 60’s/early 70’s. The lobby to this day still has a vibrant red carpet that would be fit for George Clooney to walk down on Oscar night. There are twin chandeliers in the lobby that look like they belong in a hotel ball room more then a strip mall movie theater. Theaters of this era were attempting to lure away audiences who spent their cash in the beautiful theaters downtown and to do so they still had to maintain a certain level of grandeur. The theater originally had two screens but one of them was split to make a 3rd. Even when newer theaters were around me there was nothing finer then seeing a big action movie on the first screen at the Har Mar. In addition to large screens the theater always tried to upgrade both the picture and sound quality. The size of the screens was epic compared to many of the small theaters the 80’s turned out including the Har Mar’s own addition.

In 1980, about 100 yards away from the original, an additional 8 screens were added to the Har Mar. The 8 screen addition is a testament to the complete lack of effort theater chains made in the late 70’s/early 80’s to bring in new viewers. Literally the size of one of Shaquille O’Neal’s shoeboxes, the theaters were cramped, uncomfortable and lacked anything appealing. As such these theaters were often fairly empty once you got past opening weekend and that’s why I spent another good portion of my days at the Har Mar. There’s nothing like going to a sparsely filled theater when you’re young, stupid and full of sugar especially when it involves bad movies. While the bargain theaters were my crews’ mainstay, occasionally there was a first run bomb that demanded to be seen immediately (Rising Sun anyone). Somehow the crappy surroundings only added to the experience.

So now the Har Mar closes while the AMC Rosedale 18 opens. The new theater will probably be my #1 choice for viewing now since its close and state of the art. The Har Mar meanwhile will fade away. Like the strip mall itself, the Har Mar was already on its way to obscurity in the last few years. I don’t think I’d visited its sun drenched lobby since I saw Toy Story 2 and even then it was in the shoebox theater. The last time I was in the big theater might have been for Blade or Halloween H20, not exactly the films I’d like to remember it for. Honestly in the 4 months since I’ve been back in the cities, I’ve hardly even considered the Har Mar on my list of options even though it’s one of the closer theaters. Today though, I’ll poor out a little liquor for memories of a type of theater that is joining its downtown predecessors and in honor of all the good times, good times.

What’s Happening To Me?

This is the time of the year when many of us get depressed and lazy. Some people get that way because of relationships, the weather or family. I usually hit rock bottom because of repeats. Yes I’m so shallow that my holiday depression is usually caused by the fact that most of my favorite shows are either in hiatus or spitting out reruns. This year however I’m “happy” to say that I’m actually enjoying the holiday season so far. Perhaps it’s the fact that I moved home and don’t feel like my holiday are being crammed into one whirlwind weekend with family. Could it be the new Christmas tree I bought or the other decorations I finally have room to spread out? What about the fact that I work in a bustling downtown where pleasant reminders of the holidays abound every where? Maybe it’s the first couple of discs of Sopranos season 6? As lovely as most of those sentiments are, I think it all traces back to the TV.



Thanks to the continued advent of reality shows and quirky programming we really don’t have a dead time anymore. Sure Heroes, Lost, Jericho , Studio 60 and others are on hiatus but thanks to Scrubs, Survivor, and a handful of MTV shows you can still find plenty of stuff on TV to not occupy your mind. Take Scrubs for example, thanks to its premiere being put off until late November we still have at least 2 new episodes in December and that will take us right up to the 15th. While The Amazing Race may be wrapping up this weekend, Survivor still has quite the crowd on its island and therefore a handful of shows. MTV has just rolled out a promising new edition of The Real World and is still wrapping up the latest edition of The Real World/Road Rules Challenge. (Not to mention Rob & Big which my buddy just turned me onto.)



Now usually when we reach that week before Christmas I hit rock bottom, but the fact that I’m able to enjoy myself longer this year means I can stockpile the Netflix when that last week comes. Also you can usually count on the doldrums of winter lasting well into January but this year we have at least two things to look forward to after the New Year. 24 has a two night 4 hour premiere event on the 14th and 15th, while ABC unveils their critically acclaimed new comedy The Knights of Prosperity. Obviously I’m eager for 24 especially after seeing the wicked beard Jack sports in the previews but I’m also interested in Knights which follows a group of thieves planning to rob Mick Jagger.



So here I sit on December 6th somewhat full of life and enjoying the holidays. I’m telling you people this blog is becoming too god damn sunny on a day to day basis. I could bitch about the week of cold weather we’ve had here in the Minni-apple but that would just be petty.

2 Quick Reviews

As promised last week here are two quick reviews on the Clerks II DVD and An Evening with Kevin Smith 2: Evening Harder.



An Evening with Kevin Smith 2: Evening Harder

This 2-Disc set features Smith doing his stand-up act in two different locales, Toronto and London . I know you’re probably questioning my use of stand-up but really that’s what Smith does. Ostensibly, these are Q&A sessions with a bunch of college students but usually one simple question like, “Do you ever get writer’s block?” leads to a 15 minute set about the trials of getting high and watching children’s TV shows. Each disc includes one of the sessions and an extra or two. The extras aren’t too enthralling but then again they are extras on a disc where a fat man stands and talks for three hours. I tend to think that you could enjoy this even if you’ve never heard Smith talk. He’s funny as hell and quick witted when dealing with the starry eyed fanboys in the audience. The Toronto disc is the better of the two but the one in London works well if you like accents. If you saw the first Evening with Kevin Smith and didn’t care for it then skip this one too.



Clerks II

I went ahead and purchased the widescreen DVD from Best Buy ahead of time so I could guarantee to get their special edition packaging. As they’re probably all out of stock by now I won’t let all the cool gear it came with dictate my review. Instead let me mention how cool it is and gloat over the fact that I got it. The Best Buy set comes with the DVD (which I’ll review in a second just wait for it, wait for it), a Mooby’s visor, a Funployee name tag, a Mooby’s drink cup, and it’s all packaged in your very own happy meal type box. Now that you’re jealous let’s move on to the DVD itself.



I just talked about the movie last week so I won’t go too much into it except to say it’s one of K. Smith’s best and worth multiple viewings. As always Smith packs this 2 disc set with so many extras it could take days to go through them all. First off we’ve got three commentaries. One is the long lost podcast commentary with Smith and his producer Scott Mosier that was supposed to available during the theatrical release. It’s too bad this never happened because the idea is so great and the 3 have recorded a nice track. The cast track is a little sloppy due to sheer number of people talking but still offers some insight and laughs. The third is a track with Smith, producer Scott Mosier and DP Dave Klein. I’ve yet to listen to that one yet but considering how good the actual film looks (especially compared to other View Askew flicks) I’ll definitely give it a listen. The deleted scenes are worthwhile for the most part which is a rarity. The star of the extras though is on the second disc which features a 90 minute documentary called “Back to the Well.” This is an original piece and not a rehash of the “Trainwreck” videos Smith featured on his blog during the making of Clerks II, although those are on the disc as well. The documentary rivals the excellent documentary on the original Clerks that came out on the 10 year anniversary edition of that flick and makes this DVD worth renting or buying alone.