Yes I'm a whore.

So you may notice there's a new set of images and links off to the right of the page. In a blatant attempt to earn a little scratch off of my incoherent rantings I'm now selling a few items through Spreadshirt. Now you can walk around with a catchy saying from your favorite show/blogger all at reasonable prices. Take a look and email me with any suggestions. I'm truly amazed at how many return visitors come here every week for my "insights" and I appreciate all the new folks that have found their way here too.
Thanks again for reading,
Elliot

Quick Movie Review: Wall-E

I love film. I love TV. I love music. I love books. I spend a lot of time on each of these loves (books somewhat less) and I receive a great amount of joy from them. However I can not remember the last time any form of media left me in such a daze of happiness as Pixar's latest instant classic, Wall-E. Going in I had some concerns as it came from the Finding Nemo director and that's one of my least favorite Pixar flicks. After, oh about 30 seconds, those fears were gone. Of course the standard Pixar praise applies; beautiful animation, breathtaking cinematography, perfect characterization and so on. The real gem of this movie though is its heart. My god this film completely removes you from reality and you spend an hour and a half hanging on every beep and buzz our lead robots give us. While they are doing this though you are getting many messages to pick out from the film, from the environmental aspect to the modernization facing our world. Then there’s the fact that this is a classic take on a dark sci-fi future. Dark in Pixar? Oh hell yeah, just wait to see you the horrible future the film depicts. Don’t worry though, there are laughs too, so many, so continuous that it’s hard to count. My partner loved the “mental ward” for robots, as it was almost spot on to their human counterparts. I loved the physical comedy that evoked Buster Keaton and Charlie Chaplin. The lack of dialogue is never noticeable as you honestly feel like you understand every whirl and click out of Wall-E and Eve. Lastly there are tears too. Tears about hope, life, and…well…see the movie. The Incredibles is one of my favorite films of all time and easily my favorite Pixar movie but right now Wall-E is making a serious challenge to that and it’s easily my top film of 2008.

El Dog’s Super Amazing Donkey iMix

Been awhile since I’ve rapped at y’all about music and what not, and the truth is I feared my musical revolution was over. In reality though I just got up in the world of Podcasts, especially those related to a certain time bending group of castaways. Anyhoo it’s summer, the podcasts are drying up, (hey Jay and Jack stick to Lost) and there’s a boatload of new music out there.

Mini Album Review: The Fratellis- Here We Stand
These guys authored my favorite iPod ad song ever with 2007’s Flathead and I immediately ate up all things Fratelli. So when their new album hit (I refuse to say dropped) a few weeks back, I downloaded it without thinking…oops. While not a bad listening experience the new tracks lack the infectious pop rock groove that carried the band previously. There are a few stand outs including the wonderfully named “Jesus Stole my Baby” and “Stragglers Moon” but otherwise I’d pass on this one and pick up their last effort, Costello Music.

Mini Album Review: Mates of State- Re-Arrange Us I’ve been a casual fan of Mate of State for some years now but never have made the leap to actually spending my (somewhat) hard earned cash. That changed after seeing their recent performance on Conan O’Brian. On the show they played a song off their latest album called “My Only Offer” and I dare say it might be my favorite song of 2008. Their simple piano/drum interplay is buoyed by blaring horns that fill the sonic sphere. Almost every track features the quick pace and musical excitement that longtime fans are already familiar with.


Top 5 on my iPod
5. Pork and Beans- Weezer
While the album is nothing new and overall the boys seem to be creatively stuck, this track takes you back to old school Weezer. Of course the funny story behind this is that for once we can thank a music executive. Apparently they told Rivers and company that the new album lacked a hit single and sent them back to the drawing board. The result is this tongue in cheek assault on pop culture that features one of the band’s best guitar tracks in years.

4. The Fratellis- Jesus Stole My Baby (see above)

3. The Ting Tings- That’s Not My NamePop mixed with electronica mixed is how my partner describes this band. They could easily be played in clubs but they also have the type of infectious chorus you expect from a Top 40 hit. This might be summer “scream in my car” song that will scare truckers on the interstate.

2. Mates of State- My Only Offer (see above)

1. Busta Rhymes- Don’t Touch Me Now (Throw Da Water On ‘Em)Welcome back Busta Bust…it’s been too long. For the first time in over 5 years I’m hearing a true Busta song and it’s awesome beyond belief. The quick delivery, the heavy beats, it’s all there. I’m not sure this career rehab (see the horrible Linkin Park song) but it’s a step in the right direction.

More Whedon Goodness!!!!

Here's the first look at Joss' web pic that's due this summer. Gotta love the Fillion and Doogie too.

Teaser from Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog on Vimeo.

Belated Movie Review: Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

It’s been a busy summer for me and I have gotten quite behind in my movies. I missed Speed Racer altogether, although many say that I should be thankful for that, and I just got around to seeing Dr. Jones put the fedora back on. Sad to say, I think I could’ve have waited even longer.

The latest and hopefully last Indiana Jones film is a forgettable popcorn film that would rank higher if it stood on its own. Lucas and Spielberg have once again created a film that pays tribute to the matinees they grew up on but this time the charm and boyhood excitement is gone. Harrison Ford limps through the film after starting out strong playing Jones as an aging hero. By the end though he’s acting like he’s 30 again and it just doesn’t play well. Perhaps more damning then Jones not acting his physical age is his diminished mental capacity. Part of the joy in the previous 3 films was watching Indy figure out and decode the mysteries and riddles that surrounded him. In this installment he’s got 4, yes, 4 people doing his work for him. There are just too many cooks in the kitchen. The script tries to be confusing but fails and is just annoying with the double agent twist and turns that everyone sees coming a mile away. Then there are the action sequences, which look dated and quite frankly fake.

There are a few positives though including the return of Karen Allen. Her Marion is the only woman that ever challenged Indy and she and Ford still have amazing chemistry. “It” kid, Shia Labeouf, continues to prove himself as Mutt and he and Ford have some of the film’s best scenes. I also loved the shout outs to past characters and artifacts. Unfortunately that ends up reminding you of how substandard this is as an Indy film.

Is this a horrible film? Hell no but it’s just not up the standards of the previous 3 films and to me that means it never should have been made.

Quick Movie Review: Get Smart

“Missed it by that much”; one of the many quotable lines from the old Don Adam’s TV show Get Smart and oddly enough the perfect description of the big screen update starring Steve Carell. As a huge fan of the old show I always thought that in this day and age of Beverly Hillbillies and Dukes of Hazard films that Get Smart lent itself to the big screen the better and for the most part the film lived up to that hope.

The film follows the Mel Brooks’ (creator of the TV show and consultant to the film) school of humor for the most part in that it hammers home each and every pun, prat fall, and ridiculous joke over and over again. This approach works with material like Get Smart where we find Maxwell Smart struggling to prove himself on his mission as a field agent. Unlike the TV show where Max was an already established CONTROL agent, the film is more of an origins story. Carell plays his standard charming doofus and seems to play Max in between Michael Scott and the 40 Year Old Virgin. Anne Hathaway is a revelation as Max’s partner Agent 99. Who knew the girl could do comedy? She’s funny and sexy and I love the way the writers explain the age difference between the two romantic leads. The Rock (I refuse to call him Dwayne Johnson) likewise shines as perfect Agent 23. The Rock may be a calculating marketing machine but when he turns in performances like this one its hard not to love him. Alan Arkin nearly steals the show as The Chief and I’ve got to hope he gets even more screen time in the sure to follow (thanks to the opening box office) sequel. There’s great work by the rest of the cast including Terrance Stamp, Masi Oka, and a certain 8 ball jacket wearing son of a bitch in the end.

Still the movie does fall just short of outstanding thanks to a bad joke and an unnecessary length. First off any film that uses a fat suit immediately suffers in my opinion. There’s no need to show us that Max used to be fat. Instead of showing us a picture of Max in his obese days let Hathaway’s reactions and Carell’s talent for self deprecation tell the joke. We certainly did not need a musical montage of him flailing about in said fat suit to Christina Aguilera either. The other short coming came in the long coming, aka the running time. The film runs about two hours and just goes on a little too long. There are some odd pacing lags because of this and it just seems like the film could be so much tighter.

In the end though, Get Smart is a crowd pleaser. The entire theater laughed along and I enjoyed myself thoroughly. Is it a “modern classic” (congrats EW)? No, but it’s a fine comedy that does the original material proud and entertains enough to make you want more.

Summer TV Review: Secret Diary of a Call Girl

We’ve got Showtime in my house mostly due to the fact that we’re a bit lazy about cancelling it and my partner loves The L Word and Weeds. Showtime has always been considered the poor mans HBO when it comes to original programming and I’ve tended to agree with that. However with Weeds and Dexter (my personal Showtime fav) the network has been gaining ground on the cable giant. This week along with the Weeds season premiere Showtime rolled out an import of a British show entitled Secret Diary of a Call Girl. It makes sense for these cable networks to buy up foreign shows to fill their schedule but unfortunately I think Showtime overpaid on this one.

Diary stars Billie Piper who made her name on this side of the pond as the Doctor’s companion in the modern relaunch of Doctor Who. Piper slides into the role of Hannah by day and Belle by night perfectly…at least in terms of looks. She’s not a drop dead gorgeous woman and instead comes off more as intriguing. One can easily see her as a high priced call girl if this whole acting thing hadn’t worked out. Unfortunately once you get past the fact that Piper fits the look you’ve got precious little else. Her portrayal of Belle is irritating after 10 minutes and the show itself seems a drift. Half the show Hannah/Belle speaks to the audience breaking the fourth wall and the other half she illustrates her talking points in ham fisted, over the top, sexual escapades. It was only one ep but the lack of interesting supporting folk and the dumbed down approach have turned me off instead of turning me on.

Mondays 9:30pm CST, Showtime, Premiered June 16th

Summer TV Review: Design Star

One thing I’ve learned over the last few months is that when you cohabitate with someone you must learn to either adopt or accept their TV choices. Luckily my partner has shown a great amount of patience with my obscene love of the boob tube. In some cases she’s embraced it (Lost, Project Runway, Battlestar) and in others she’s wisely tuned out (Real World, The Hills). Of course it also doesn’t hurt that my partner doesn’t much watch the TV so I’ve had little to adjust to. However this summer has brought a new season of HGTV’s Design Star so in the spirit of relationship building I’ve taken the first two episodes out for a spin.

Design Star is a carbon copy of The Next Food Network Star. This of course makes sense when you realize the same conglomerate owns the networks. I’m not sure which came first but it doesn’t matter as the results are the same; mostly mindless fun with people who aren’t quite talented enough to stand on their talent alone. The talented folks end up on Top Chef or Top Design (I miss Todd Oldham’s soothing voice). Here, like Next Food, we’ve got folks who are cute or faux edgy. No one really pushes the envelope and that’s ok because the viewers of HGTV tend to want safe not exciting.

Ok enough bitching; let’s talk about the positives. First of all, Clive Pearse makes for a good host. He moves things along and adds the right dash of pomp and humor. Second, the challenges are at least challenging. I must take issue though with the huge letdown of the first episode. The 9 designers stood before Clive as he told them they had a week to build a house. After a few minutes of panic he came back to tell them it was all a joke. That’s a damn shame since a home from the ground up could have made for weeks of interesting TV and they could have donated the home to a family at the end of the show. Shame on HGTV for missing the boat on that one. Still the challenge to design rooms in their already built house was fun and demanding. All the reality show clichés soon popped up. There were the communication errors, the old bitch, the young bitchy guy, the show off who was making his own grave, and the crier. In the end the crier met the show off who ended up showing himself the door. Too bad because he made the best facial expressions. Then there was the moment which I’ve become all too familiar with, where I find myself asking if these contestants have ever seen a reality show as they’re surprised by the infighting.

In the end Design Star is much like the network it airs on. It’s got a few bright spots and it always makes for non-offensive background noise. What do you want folks, that’s summer TV.

Sundays 8pm CST, HGTV, Premiered June 8th

You're the 5th

There seems to be a lot of gripping about Battlestar Galactica's mid season finale last night and I for one couldn't disagree more. Sure the first half of the season stumbled but the last 4 eps were top notch. Last night's finale had me on the edge of my seat from beginning to end and left me aching for more. My only complaint is that it was clear they shot more then an hours worth of footage as the ep seemed a bit rushed. Here's hoping SciFi gives us the second half sooner rather then later.

Madison Restaurant Review: Porta Bella

It’s not easy writing reviews of institutions. Porta Bella is the very definition of a dining institution as its graced Madison’s downtown for 40 years offering intimate romantic meals for old and young alike. I first dined at Porta Bella as a child while visiting Madison with my parents for a UW hockey game. During my college years it was always a good place to take the ‘rents or a special lady (the one or two that talked to me at least). Now as I was searching for a place to hold a special event I once again found myself at Porta Bella’s door and found it to be mostly unchanged.

I’d never call Porta Bella a classic Italian restaurant. At its core it’s Americanized Italian but it does not fall into the noodles and ketchup category by any stretch. The appetizer menu bares these facts out. On one visit we sampled both the stuffed mushrooms and the toasted ravioli. The mushrooms were undercooked but the stuffing of meat and cheese was delicious. The ravioli stole the show that night as the garlic and spinach filling mixed perfectly with the cheese inside. They were so lightly fried that one almost felt guilt free as they dipped them in the warm marinara sauce. I always think it’s a good sign when a restaurant heats their dipping sauce. On a second visit the appetizer round was less successful as an antipasto platter failed to meet expectations. While the marinated vegetables and crostini were good the salami and provolone looked store bought and tasted likewise. Salads are decent especially the caeser. While I’m not much for the creamy caeser dressing Porta Bella’s does maintain the perfect mix of garlic and oil. Their porta salad with meats and cheeses is slightly less successful depending on which dressing you choose.

When it comes to entrées the kitchen performs at a higher consistency although the interpretations again are questioned. My first visit meal was the three meat cannelloni, a house made pasta filled with chicken, beef and Italian sausage. It’s an odd combination of fillings but it works and the pasta was cooked perfectly and any chance to have their Italian sausage should be taken. Perhaps odder then the meat combo is the fact you can choose to have the meal baked in marinara sauce, cheese sauce or half and half. I tried both and found them to be as good as I remember. The marinara has a slight sweetness and a body to it that stands up to the pasta. The cheese sauce is essentially a béchamel loaded with Parmesan and mozz. I recommend the half and half though as the cheese sauce while tasty is far too rich and heavy on its own. Another stand out was the spedini and stuffed shrimp. While my companion and I found their interpretation of spedini a bit odd (gooey cheese filling) the meat was done nicely and the flavor was spot on. I found the stuffed shrimp a bit bland but it pleased my partner. On another visit I tried their porta bella mushroom tetrazzini and found it to have good flavor although once again a bit unconventional as it was served over tri color rotini. The dish has a nice kick though and was overall a winner. Unfortunately the same cannot be said of the chicken and mushrooms with goat cheese ravioli. The chicken was tough and the tomato sauce contrasted to starkly with the creamy cheese filled pockets.

Deserts were hit and miss and again featured some odd twists. The tiramisu was quite light which was a welcome surprise however the Hershey’s chocolate sauce squirted on top was not. The cannoli was almost certainly of the frozen variety and skipped the normal citron for chocolate chips and that same watery chocolate sauce.

Of course the real star of Porta Bella is the space itself. From its ivy covered gates to its cozy wine cellar there’s not a bad seat in the house. There may be no better place for a couple to sit and exchange starry-eyed glances then their oversized wood booths.

Since it’s located in the heart of campus expect some inexperienced servers. On one visit we had a quiet talker that made the whole experience comical. On another, we had the disappearing server, which was less comical and more annoying. Still the kitchen staff should be commended for excellent pacing of the meals.

Porta Bella, 425 N. Frances Street, Madison, WI 608-256-3186

Madison Brunch Review: Bluephies

A proper title for this review should be, “A Tale of Two Brunches “ as two visits over the last few months to Bluephies produced vastly different results. The end result being stick to the breakfast items and leave the “unch” out of brunch.

On my first visit my companion and I opted for the lunch portion of the menu. Compiled of burgers, sandwiches and salads the lunch menu certainly looks appealing. Since it was brunch we both started out with their spicy blood Mary, which featured a house, infused spicy vodka, which our server claimed to have made herself. These drinks were a hit as they combined both ample spice and vodka so brunch was off to a good start. I decided to try the crab cake club, which is no longer on the menu. However the crab cakes do pop up in a couple of variations so I will say they’re worth your time. The rest of the sandwich failed miserably. The attempts at seasoning outside of the cake were dull and served no purpose and the bread well lets just say calling it dry would be understatement. My companion sampled their namesake sandwich and found more of the same. Her bread was toasted to a brittle dryness that rendered the meatholders useless. Likewise her combo of turkey and caramelized veggies lacked any real flavor and surprisingly the garlic aioli offered no relief.

The second time around proved to be much more satisfying. The bloody Marys we enjoyed on our first visit were gone and replaced with one made with spicy tomato mix. While the flavors weren’t as strong the marinated mushrooms, asparagus, and olives were a nice addition. Another companion tried the mango mimosa and found it be a perfect blend of flavors. Bluephies also offers basic coffee house drinks and while I didn’t sample it, one companion found her latte too watery. Still stinging from our lunch fare debacle we tackled the breakfast side of brunch this time. Two of us tried Bluephies “famous” scramblers. My mix of eggs, bacon, spinach, red pepper, and onions (Lyle’s Favorite) was cooked to perfection with firm eggs. The mixture lay over a bed of excellent American fries and was topped with Parmesan cheese. My partner tried the Andouille scrambler and was equally impressed especially by the flavor of the Cajun sausage. Another companion tried the bananas foster French toast, which was another home run. The sweet treat was reinforced by, for once, an exceptionally firm bread base.

On both occasions we wrapped up with some of Bluephies famous desserts. The cookie dough egg roll is legend in these parts and deservedly so. The slightly melted dough oozes from the crispy wrapper and warms your mouth. The Butterfinger wontons might be my favorite though as the mixture of candy bites mixed with a cream cheese filling pop on the tongue.

Located just around the bend from me on Monroe St., Bluephies is yet another horse in the stable of Madison’s Food Fight conglomerate. Now open for over ten years Bluephies has straddled the line between diner fare and more upscale comfort food. Considering its boffo location and Food Fight’s reputation its no surprise the place has thrived to the point where it’s expanding into a neighboring space. Service is good if a bit slow and while the place is always packed don’t expect too much of a wait.

Bluephies, 2701 Monroe St, Madison, WI, 608-231-3663

Summer TV Review: Legally Blonde-The Search for Elle Woods

It’s the rare song and dance routine that truly touches my soul. Aside from a Buffy here and an Evita there, the last few years have been pretty barren of musical options. Then I saw and heard the glory that is Legally Blonde: The Musical. The Broadway show that aired in its entirety on MTV last Fall enthralled me which is particularly odd since I was not a big fan of the film. I found myself downloading tracks off the original Broadway recording and counting the days until the show started touring. Unfortunately that’s a lot of days as the tour doesn’t hit my neck of the woods until next spring but in the meantime MTV is satisfying my pink craving with a new reality competition to cast the new Elle on Broadway.

The show certainly appeals to me as a fan of the musical but I think non-fans will find it to be a satisfying reality show. On Monday’s premiere the cattle call of casting was narrowed down from 50 to 10 before our eyes. The girls danced and sang their little hearts out and for the most part kept their claws in. Don’t despair though as it looks like the claws will come out in the weeks to come. The group of 10 is certainly diverse from both a background and appearance aspect. It’s nice to see some folks who normally wouldn’t pass the casting mustard on say the Real World or A Shot at Love. The judges likewise seem like fish out of water but in a refreshing manner in that they actually care about the end winner since it will affect their livelihood. Perhaps the only sore spot is “mentor” Hayley Duff. A so called triple threat, Hilary’s less talented and less successful older sister can grind the show to a halt with her stilted updates on the proceedings and her “heartfelt” tales of her Broadway life. Yuck! Hopefully there’s still time in the editing room to cut down on the Duff and increase the pink. Snaps!

Mondays 9pm CST., MTV, Premiered June 2nd

Summer TV Review: The Next Food Network Star

Summer is certainly the time for your C level reality shows and one of my favorites returned over the weekend in the form of The Next Food Network Star. While it’s a poor cousin to Top Chef it will definitely satisfy the foodie in me if the premiere is any indication. This year’s group of TV wannabees includes:
• a boy genius who served raw pork in the premiere
• a Rachel Ray style cheerleader fresh out of school
• a fashion plate diva who want to make a cooking show about community outreach
• an Indian immigrant who doesn’t know how to spice curry

Yes while it’s not quite the bottom of the barrel like Hell’s Kitchen, Star does tend to scrape together some rather untalented or uninteresting folks. The previews also seem to indicate this won’t be quite the love fest that previous seasons have been. In the end the challenges are always fun and the judges table always features some quite moments. Oh yeah and Giada is always about too

Sundays 9:00pm CST., Food Network, Premiered June 1st

Summer TV Review: The Venture Brothers

This summer instead of doing a Summer TV preview I figured let’s do a Summer TV Review as the shows come out. Last night brought the first new show of the season as The Venture Brothers returned to the air and did so in a genre defining manner.

Now in season 3, the Adult Swim gem continues to grow its warped mythology and cast of characters. Last night’s premiere followed the formula of its season 2 premiere by focusing on anybody but the title characters while introducing more info on the past of others. Specifically it was a villain-centric episode as the Monarch and Dr. Girlfriend spent the episode at the mercy of the Guild of Calamitous Intent. My partner’s sighs of boredom indicated this was a poor jumping on point for new viewers but for long time fans like myself it had everything Venture fans have grown to love as it mixed ridiculous story with ridiculous humor. While the episode lacked the utter brilliance of last season’s premiere it still had plenty of gut busters especially of the Markie Post variety. The episode also strongly featured our favorite henchmen which always makes the geek in me smile.

I’m quite sure next week things will begin to return to normal or as normal as the show ever gets but last night certainly assured fans that despite the year and a half lay off the show hasn’t missed a beat.

Sundays 10:30pm CST., Cartoon Network, Premiered June 1st