Just because we haven't done this for awhile let me remind you how it works. In my infinite wisdom I award points to places, people and things that have made a positive or negative impact on me. (In other words, it's a great excuse when I don't have a lengthy topic to write on.)
-4: USA International Athletes- I swear I just deducted points a few months ago for this very same thing. Not to be outdone by the Olympic, World Baseball Classic, and World Cup teams, the US Ryder Cup, Davis Cup, and men and women's World Basketball Championship teams all fell short in the last month. The most recent failure was the Ryder Cup, where on Sunday the Us finished with it's 3rd consecutive loss while also failing to score double digits. For those unfamiliar with the format not scoring double digits is the equivalent of being swept in the baseball playoffs and being outscored 32-1. I'm not usually one for flag waving but there is something about cheering on your nation in these events that can spur even me to chant USA, USA, USA! However if this keeps up soccer won't be the only sport were I adopt another country's team.
+2: KFC- After my brief affair with the KFC Mashed Potato Bowl this summer I decided to swear off KFC for a while. My will power is being strongly tested by their new Cheesy Snacker. It's just their 99 cent mini chicken sandwich with a cheddar jack cheese sauce but good god I'm fascinated. During Sunday football my friend and I reached the conclusion that KFC is the best fast food advertiser because they spend all their time focusing on the food in their commercials. Hell I almost wanted to run out and buy a "choose your own bucket" at one point on Sunday. Thankfully I haven't identified where my local KFC is since I moved so my arteries are safe…for now.
-1: Jay Z- Usually I'd rip into someone for announcing their unretirement but was J ever really gone? You knew he'd be back but my worry is that he'll be more like Jordan on the Wizards then Jordan on the Bulls part 2. He's faced with topping the perfect goodbye CD (The Black Album) while proving he still belongs on top. I'm not going to bet against him but I'm anxious none the less.
-7: Fox Movie Studio- In a move to change their name to Irony Studios, Fox execs have acted like idiots and shelved the movie Idiocracy (unless you lived in 3 towns for one weekend). This is the long awaited second live action film from Mike Judge (Office Space). It's a basic "modern man gets frozen by army and wakes up many years in the future" story with the twist being that the future is dominated by a society that is even dumber then ours today. Now I haven't seen the film but I've been jonesing for it ever since word started to leak out about it. It could be horrible but it's one I'd like to find out about for myself. Judge made Fox truckloads of cash when Office Space became a cult hit (not to mention his King of the Hill TV show) so you'd think they'd give him a little better treatment. Now, like Office Space before it, Idiocracy will have to find it's voice on DVD.
-5: John Madden- Dear John, not only are you way past your prime as an announcer but your video game has become the bane of my fantasy football season. I'm not usually one for curses but it's getting to be ridiculous when it comes to the players that adorn the cover of your video game box. Look at the list of players you've harmed: Barry Sanders, Daunte Culpepper, Eddie George, Marshall Faulk, Michael Vick, Ray Lewis, Donovan McNabb, and now Shaun Alexander. In the last 4 years the only time I lost my fantasy football league was when Vick went down in '03. Now I've lost Alexander thanks to your curse and that's not cool man.
+5: The Madden Video Game Curse- Dear Curse, thank you for providing me with ready made excuses whenever I fail to win my fantasy football league. Love, Elliot
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