Geek Test

Yesterday’s tragic events at Virginia Tech affected us all but paraphrasing Jon Stewart, “I’m going to do what I always do when faced with tragedy, I’m going to repress it deep down to the point that when I’m 80 and someone spills a pop on the carpet I’m going to freak the fuck out.”

Paraphrasing is actually the word of the day as yesterday I came across a column in my Entertainment Weekly by Dalton Ross. Ross is mostly a TV/feature writer for the mag but recently he’s been sharing the back page column with Stephen King. This week he wrote a column on being a geek and how he’s proud and embarrassed about it at the same time. In the column he gave some examples ala Jeff Foxworthy on how to recognize your geekiness and since I know many a geek or geek in denial read this blog I thought I’d paraphrase and pass on a few of his points along with some of my own.

You might be a geek…
…if you own the Buffy musical CD and can reenact the entire episode with or without a video backdrop.
…if you spend your Thursday mornings analyzing every frame of the previous nights LOST.
…if you find yourself singing the Ewoks celebration song from the end of Return of the Jedi.
…if you’ve gone on message boards and created a user name based on a character from the show.
…if you’ve bought a book, or comic book that takes place out of the continuity of a show or movie.
…if you ever put food coloring into your drinks to make them look like the funky space cocktails served at Quark’s bar. Hell, if you even know what Quark’s bar is you might be a geek.
…if you own both V miniseries and the short lived TV show on DVD.
…if you’ve ever discussed how George Lucas ruined the Force by introducing midichlorians.
…if you’ve ever wrote fan fiction.
…if you’ve ever even thought about wearing Spock ears.
…if you’ve ever argued about the virtues of hyperdrive versus warp drive.
…if you know what the following acronyms stand for BSG, HRG, TARDIS, TNG, CSM and ESB (I’m having trouble with that last one myself).
…if you ever used frak (from Battlestar) instead of fuck in a sentence.
…if you ever waved your hand at a bouncer and said “these aren’t the IDs you’re looking for” as you attempt to get into a club.
…if you get excited when alumni from your favorite shows appear on new shows (ie. Captain Malcolm Reynolds, Jubal Early, and Fred all showing up on Drive; which by the way is off to a great start Monday’s at 7pm CST on Fox).
…if you spend an inordinate amount of time trying to convince people to watch a new TV show so that it doesn’t get an early pink slip.

I had to answer yes to a handful of these but I owned up to my geekiness years ago. Just don’t call me a nerd cause that’s a whole other ball of wax.