Eyebrows and Pitstops: Week 10

I should change the name of this column to “People I Don’t Want to See Win The Amazing Race.” One week after settling on cheering for Jen and Kisha, the sisters went negative this week and have left me with 3 out of 4 teams of ugly Americans. We had our first severe weather warnings of the spring so the overzealous weather folks cut into about half of the episode so bear with me if I omit a few details.

Clearly the whole Luke/Margie and Jen/Kisha beef was not squashed during the rest at the Pit Stop. Both teams made it very clear they’d be happy to see the other team go home. Margie and Luke continued to suffer from a case of bitchassness as they whined the whole episode. Meanwhile Jen and Kisha seemed to take the high road but then took a detour into stereotype village as they derided the Chinese citizens they encountered. They pulled out the old, “why can’t they just say I no speakee the English” and the ever-loving “they all look the same.” Really girls? Just when I started pulling for you.

The Road Block in Beijing was certainly fun to watch as all these teams were brought to tears. It was particularly fulfilling to watch so-called cheerleader Cara get her feet pummeled by the Chinese masseuse. Meanwhile Tammy and Victor realized what we viewers realized last week that just because you speak the language doesn’t mean your cab driver will know where he’s going. It certainly looked like a tight race as all the teams left that massage parlor about the same time.

The Detour on this leg proved to be the most difficult set of options yet. Victor and Tammy inexplicably stuck with the synchronized diving option which seemed damn near impossible especially with the stingy judges. Jamie and Cara and Margie and Luke wisely chose the swimming option which while tiring seemed the simplest. Those two were unfortunately out the door quickly while Jen and Kisha were paralyzed by Jen’s fear of swimming. My partner who served as a lifeguard said Jen was the kind of person she’d jump into assist and watching Jen bury her head in the water and struggle I can see why. Once Victor and Tammy came to their senses and switched to the swimming it was clear Jen and Kisha were going home.

Of course this all seemed rather anti-climactic. All episode long the fact that next week would be the finale seemed oddly timed to me. After all May sweeps don’t begin until next Sunday and you’d think CBS would want at least two weeks of the Race. As Victor and Tammy struggled with his cramp (best line of the night “Can you do that in the taxi?) there was still no tension or hope that Kisha and Jen would catch up. Of course we then got to Phil’s smiling face and raised eyebrow telling us that this leg wasn’t finished yet. So now we’ve got another week of all four teams trying to out ugly each other and I’m left pulling for Victor and Tammy a team I originally couldn’t stand. All signs of a pretty damn good season.