My Own “Dirty Little Pieces” (including actual truths and facts)

My name’s Elliot and I’m a spoil-a-holic. It’s been 18 months since my last spoiler. I’d like to share my story in the hopes that you don’t fall into the same trap.

I should have known that I’d be predisposed to this illness. For one, I used to pick up the occasional Soap Opera Digest in college to catch up on who’s coming and who’s going. Also I am part of the MTV generation whose short attention span demands instant gratification. Still I never knew how low I’d sink when I found my first online spoiler.

I was in my mid-twenties when I discovered online spoilers and started my downward spiral. I was searching for a recap for an episode of Buffy I had missed when I stumbled on a site that offered spoilers for future episodes. Intrigued I clicked on the link, ignoring the warnings that flashed. Upon my initial visit I was highly skeptical. Surely this was just conjecture based on coming attractions and magazine articles. I watched the show the next week and sure enough everything I read came true. I found myself laughing at jokes early or telling people not to open doors three scenes ahead of time. I wondered how could this happen? Is someone spying on the set and is this ethical. Those questions soon faded as I became lost in the ecstasy of knowing something others did not. Soon I was searching for spoilers about my other shows. What’s going to happen on the West Wing? Will Angel lose his soul? Then I started reading spoilers on shows I didn’t even watch. Will Luka and Abby end up together or will Carter come between them? Then like any addiction I needed new ways to get my fix and that’s when I started hurting my friends and family.

The problem was, as my habit grew it didn’t become satisfying enough that I knew, I had to share it with the people around me too. So I’d slyly hint that I knew something and while some were strong and told me to take a flying leap, others were weak and absorbed all I had to share. My darkest moment came when I revealed to myself and a friend the death of a character on a show. I justified it by saying I still didn’t know how the person will die and that might be just as important. Then the episode aired and a funny thing happened, the character did not die. In that moment I remembered the joy of actually being surprised by a plot twist. I went to my friends and admitted I had a problem. Now 3 years later I keep my nose pretty clean. Sure I still look ahead on my DVR for upcoming episodes but their descriptions are usually very broad and inaccurate. Once in a while I’ll read a message board for a show like Lost but only to catch little things I might have missed or to read theories about the future. I still go to Ain't It Cool News, but thankfully they only do spoiler lite and anything heavy is clearly marked. Take my advice reading spoilers will only hurt you and the one’s you love, so keep your nose clean and enjoy the shows.