Thou Shall Not Worship False Idols

I like to think of myself as hip, even though the first sign of being unhip is thinking you are. I’ve got my finger on the pulse of all the hot shows, music, and movies for better or for worse. I’ll even suffer through a movie, song, or episode of something, if I think it might get better or grow on me. Over the years I’ve watched episodes of The Simple Life, bought tickets to Hannibal, and downloaded songs by Brittney. Why am I admitting all this? I just want to make it clear that I try to give all pop culture phenomenons a chance before I pass judgment. With that said I must say that after all these years, I still don’t get American Idol.

There are certain reality shows that hit a sweet spot in the American psyche and blow up. Most of these shows are around for a season or two and then fade away (or should fade away, Apprentice). I would have put money that Idol would have been one of those shows. Instead it’s consistently the number 1 rated show on TV. The judges have become faux celebrities and some contestants that don’t make it past the first auditions even end up with 15 minutes of fame. The scary thing is that Idol seems to growing in its popularity and shows no signs of slowing down.

I watched about two episodes the first season and have not watched more then 5 minutes since. The appeal of the show eludes me. Take the judges for example. I don’t understand how a no name pop producer like Simon Cowell has become the last word on talent or how a train wreck of a person like Paula Abdul can keep a steady job, and to this day I still don’t know who the fuck Randy Jackson is and why he’s on TV. I understand how the auditions can be funny when you have people coming in that can’t sing, but come on people how many times can you watch some nerdy kid ruin a Shakira song. The competition itself seems to be a joke. I read more articles on the various conspiracy plots that come up every season then I do about the actual winners. And don’t get me started on the whole, “let the viewers vote” angle. In an age where you can’t trust the public to elect a competent President how can you expect them to pick the “best” singer?

Again I’m not saying this show wasn’t a stroke of brilliance. I’m clearly in the minority of people who don’t get it, just like I’m in the minority when it comes to “Two and a Half Men” or “CSI”. So enjoy your season finale, cheer for your singer, boo Simon, pity Seacrest, and if you have a chance, please explain to me why on earth this show still captivates your attention.