34 Realizations on Turning 34

This weekend mother nature will once again slap me on the ass and inform me I’ve aged another 365 days. While I don’t consider myself to be the most introspective person in the world I am a sucker for creating traditions, so without further adieu here’s this year’s installment of birthday realizations:

34. The older you get the more scary doctors become.
33. Not only are most pro athletes younger than me, but I could be their father.
32. I may live past 60.
31. Money is the greatest evil in this world.
30. Money is the greatest necessity in this world.
29. I don’t care if athletes take steroids.
28. Despite some bad spots, I’m still a romantic at heart.
27. I never get tired of saying “Jordan Catalano.”
26. If I was a wrestler, my finishing move would be the “Throat Punch.”
25. I hate the idea of people more than people themselves.
24. The older I get, the longer these lists become.
23. I’ll never see my Wisconsin Badgers play for the National Championship in football but that’s ok.
22. Quitting smoking is harder than I thought.
21. Remakes or reimaginings can sometimes surpass the original (see Doctor Who and Battlestar Galactica).
20. The US political system is so corrupt that we’ll never have a government for the people by the people in my lifetime.
19. I can’t quite party as hard as I once could.
18. Add New York to the list of cities that could kill me.
17. Its easier to spoil someone else than it is yourself.
16. Kitchen tongs are the most essential cooking utensil.
15. I can live without an iPhone…at least for another year.
14. I think I’m ready to enter the HD era of TV.
13. No matter how much I try, believing in a higher power is a foreign concept to me.
12. Believing in the concept of the lizard people is surprisingly easier.
11. Unless you’re the 2001 Baltimore Ravens you need more then a “game manager” at the quarterback position.
10. I’m more like my parents than I ever realized.
9. Sexual orientation and gender identification are too entirely different things.
8. I’m not too old to go to concerts, although I think some people might be too young.
7. As much of a geek as I am, I’d rather not see Star Wars be turned into a TV show.
6. While Halloween and St Patrick’s Day are my favorite holidays, I secretly love Christmas almost as much.
5. You truly don’t know what you’re missing until you find that same thing.
4. I’m both a snob and a reverse snob, which can make things difficult.
3. 2-Pac and Biggie are really dead but I think Elvis lived.
2. I’m a natural born entertainer…sometimes unintentionally.
1. I think my 30’s are turning into the best years of my life despite the aches and pains.