Sometimes you wait too long to catch a flick and you lose out on all the good jokes. So far I’ve seen “I Want a Better Movie”, “I Want to Pretend this Never Happened”, and “I Want to Remember the Show Fondly”, as review headers for the X-Files: I Want to Believe. Beyond all the hyperbole and puns, the truth is out there, and that truth is this movie is not the antichrist but it sure as hell isn’t good either. I think the biggest thing I learned from this film is that I’m not that big of an X-Files fan anymore. Sure I still love the show but since the groundbreaking show hit the airwaves we’ve gotten far superior shows that share a similar bloodline (Lost, Buffy, Alias, Battlestar).
I think if I was still a huge devotee to Mulder and Scully then I would be genuinely offended by creator Chris Carter’s directorial debut. Screw the mythology, I get that, but the problem is that Carter couldn’t resist throwing in some bits and pieces. Unfortunately those tidbits minimize the importance of the mythology and pretty much shit on the series. I love that the couple’s idea of hiding is living one state away from FBI headquarters under their real names. Having Skinner pop buy to move the plot along and nothing more, smacks of laziness. The references to Mulder’s sister and the love child William are annoying and again trivialized by the characters one-dimensional attitudes.
However, one-dimensional characters, poor production values, and a brittle plot actually pull together in the end though to make one funny ass B-movie. I think there should be a drinking game for every time Scully says she’s a doctor or Mulder’s sister is referred too. While it’s been years since the show went away, the characters haven’t moved an inch, in fact they’ve moved back and become characterizations. Gillian Anderson and David Duchovny seem to realize this and are poking fun at themselves along the way. It’s even more laughable when you see the 20 plus years they’ve added on in age thanks to the appallingly bad hair and make up in the film. I’ve heard people say this looks like an episode of the show, but truth is those looked better. This looks like someone who just got out of 10 Minute Film School did it. Despite that, the film has a certain Roger Corman type charm. Since they had no budget there’s a lot of driving and talking, and walking and talking, and standing and talking, all set to vaguely scary music. Somehow that makes it all kind of enjoyable.
If you can let the X-phile in you let go then you can get a kick out of the movie. I laughed quite a bit and still walked away enjoying the chance to see Duchovny and Anderson. Of course if you can’t let it go, then be warned this movie will crush you and any hopes you even had of heading to a theater on 12/12/2012 to see the colonization movie you’d always hoped for.
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