I'm technology's bitch

The move has come and gone and I am now settled back into my new/old hometown. Everything went pretty well on the day of the move except for a flooded toilet here and there. Of course the first stuff to unpack was my electronics, so Sunday afternoon I began an ordeal that will haunt me to my last days....or at least a month or two.

As you may have noted in previous columns, I purchased a TiVo as part of the big move. In the past you needed a phone line to set up TiVo service but with their new Dual Tuner series you can set it up through your DSL or Broadband connection. This sealed the deal for me as I have no land line only DSL. When my internet provider came over on Friday I mentioned to him that I was going to have a TiVo in one room and my computer in the other. The tech guy (who was 3 zits away from looking like a Hollywood geek stereotype) explained to me what I needed in the following words, "You'll need a hub, only don't call it a hub when you go to Best Buy cause they'll laugh at you. Call it a switcher. I only call it a hub cause I kick it old school." With this sage advice I went to Best Buy picked up the SWITCHER and returned home. After making all the connections I got to the point in the TiVo set up where it connects to the net. No luck. Try again. No luck. Being Sunday I had to hold off until the morning to get help so I went to bed with thoughts of TiVo dancing in my head.

Now I consider myself a technologically accomplished person. I'm the guy that friends ask to help hook up their surround sound or program their cells phones. Monday changed my self perception and shook me to my very core. I woke up and called my internet provider who said I should be fine with the switcher and to call TiVo. TiVo talked to me for almost an hour and then told me that I needed a router not a switcher. I asked the girl if a router is the same as a hub and sure enough she laughed at me. So it was back to Best Buy to return the switcher and get the router. Being I was already getting confused I stopped a sales guy and had the following discussion.

Me: Hi I bought a switcher yesterday to split my DSL to my computer and my TiVo and apparently I needed a router?
Best Buy Guy: Who told you to get a switcher that's just ridiculous?
Me: I know tell me about it. Anyway will this router work with my Mac?
BBG: Mac? Are you kidding me, none of these routers work with a Mac, you have to go to the Mall and the Apple Store to get a compatible router. Give me that box and get out of here.

Confused and a little intimidated I stumbled across the street to the Apple Store and again sought out help. I asked for a router and the Apple Guy showed me a wireless system that was a wee bit too expensive for my taste. So I asked him about wired routers and was treated to this conversation.

Apple Guy: Wired routers? No you can just to go Best Buy for one of those.
Me: I did and they sent me here.
Apple Guy: Because you wanted wireless?
Me: No because they said only Apple sells compatible routers for Macs.
Apple Guy: Wow, that's messed up. You can use any router on a Mac. So unless you want to spend $150 on a wireless system get out of our store.

Now I was out for a wired router once again but I didn't want to go back to Best Buy and face the same salesperson so I went off to CompUSA. CompUSA seemed like a good choice because there was no way I'd face contradictory information since they never have sales people available. I picked up a router and returned home.

As I began to arrange cords and what not, I had a positive outlook that after all the confusion and contradiction my journey was at an end. I powered up the TiVo and went back at it. Now I was getting two error messages so back to TiVo I went. This time they were as lost as I was (which always feels good) they suggested another brand of router. By now my Monday was shot so back to sleep I went dreaming of my old cable DVR.

Tuesday came and back to CompUSA I went. After exchanging routers I gave it another try and still no luck. This time TiVo suggested I take the box to a friends place that has a phone line and lie to the machine that it's at home. I packed it up took it to my mom's place and voile the set up worked. However I was petrified that it wouldn't work at home and honestly now matter how much I paid TiVo for a 3 year contract I wasn't going to drive to and from my mom's place every two weeks to update my programming schedule. I got home and turned off everything, computer, router, modem, TV, TiVo and then plugged it all in and presto it dialed out on my network perfectly. I called TiVo and they pretty much said it was an act of God. If there is a God I guess I find it rather comforting that he's looking out for me and my TV addiction. Let the TiVolution begin!