Extra Extra! Job kills blogging!

Most of you know that I’ve been working a series of temp jobs lately after enjoying a glorious month of unemployment. So far the temp life has been pretty good. Sure the money sucks but it’s been kind of fun moving from project to project and company to company. That is, until today.

Today I started a new assignment with a company that will remain nameless. I’m here to warn you folks the blog won’t be seeing as many updates anymore. Nope this is a job that after only one day has sucked my soul dry. Here are just a few rules that this place enforces:

1. No visible tattoos- Ok I can live with that.
2. No perfumes, colognes, or scented lotions- I don’t know about you folks but I like to smell a little better then what mother nature gave me and yes scented lotions include after shave.
3. No cell phones are allowed to have power in the office- The place is filled with some confidential stuff but come on. It’s not like I’m going to sit and chit chat all day. I just like to know if someone needs me I can be reached.
4. No internet access period- I can understand the no internet thing during work hours but on breaks and lunch too? My god this job lasts a month and I might just be a blathering idiot by the end.
5. No talking to coworkers- Does that include asking them to break rule number 2 because my nose is twitching?

There are many more where those come from and honestly I could probably deal with just that but wait there is more. You know those sarcastic bosses who love to play up the ridiculousness of the American office environment? Well my temp boss is not one of them. After we went around the room today and introduced ourselves she said “I’ll forget your names anyway.” That’s no big deal but she followed it up with “And I don’t care.” Take it from me there was no humor in that delivery.

Looking at the tally so far we’ve got annoying rules and a bitchy boss and for me that’s pretty bad but still not horrible. Then I got to see my cube. When you’re thinking the folks in Gitmo have more space then you know you’ve got it bad. Not only is it the worlds smallest cube but the nearest ever loving florescent light bank is actually a row away so me and my temp amigos get left over light. I’d take a pic of it for you but see rule number 3.

The upshot of this bitch fest is two fold. Obviously it’s a warning about temp jobs. Only a week ago I was in temp heaven at a place that gave out free donuts and didn’t give two shits about what I did on break. Also I’m sad to say the blogging will be a little less frequent in the next month. I needs me some me time at work to search the sites and to formulate thoughts. Hell they don’t even give me scratch paper at this place so when I nugget of blogging glory jumps into my head I can’t even write it down.

Oh woe is me. Turns out I should’ve been a congressional page all those years ago. At least then I’d be able to live of the sexual harassment lawsuit.